I try and always get these things out on Monday. You know. It the start of a new week. You're still fresh. Yeah it's Monday, but the rigors of the week haven't bogged you down yet. Well today is Thursday and I'm just now getting to this. And for all of you that are calling lazy it wasn't because of that. I just did not have any material/the material I did have was just a little too personal for this venue (and to those of you that actually read this on a weekly basis, you know how personal I can get). Anyway, today I just wanted to put my prayer from today out there and maybe it'll help you with anything you're struggling with.
We call God, Father. He is our dad. He raises us up. He teaches us. He gives us all the things our biological fathers would give us times infinity. Okay, but do you ever feel like he's not all of that? I know I do. In fact, I probably do it more times than I'm proud of. Anyway, today I was praying with Hosea 11:1-9 and was again reminded why we call God our father.
The passage in Hosea is like a monologue from God about how he raised Israel up from nothing and every time He tried to get closer, Israel ran way. "Yet, though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know that I was their healer" (Hosea 11:4). You can just see how much that would hurt God. I mean, the children that he raised don't want Him anymore. That has to be hard. However, if you read on, you see that God is actually moved to compassion and pity, and desires not to destroy the tribe, even though they may deserve it.
So how did this effect me? The imaginative state I was in was pretty darn cool. The guys reading this will understand when I say God had placed me in this old school film room, like one you would see in an old sports movie. I was watching something being projected onto the screen, and I was actually using one of the old school projectors as well. I realized that what I was watching were moments from my youth. I remember seeing me at my high chair eating, walking for the first time, riding a bike, and even playing baseball. And in all of these little clips, there was this guy there. It wasn't my actual dad though. It was like everything had a 50's era black and white feel and the guy in the videos looked like the dad from "Leave it to Beaver."
I thought this was interesting in the sense that when I kept going through the clips and getting older, that guy disappeared. I got to clips that weren't so happy; shots of me partying at a young age, trying to pick up girls to take home, and a number of things I was not happy with. This was when I realized that Beaver's dad was the representation of God that my mind had made up. And from the outside, it can look like God had left me during those times, but that was not true. God never left me. I just stopped letting him in. Like the Israelites, when God tried to get close, I just ran to the next idol in my life.
The love of God is unconditional, and the love of God is constant. It's up to us to let that be true. We have to trust Him in that way. For me, that can be really tough. I fail. I mess up. I am not even close to being perfect. None of us are. But that doesn't mean we can get down on ourselves. Say you're a guy (or girl) and struggling with a sexual sin. You go two weeks and everything is great and then in a stroke of pure weakness you fall. What do you do now? Do you get down? Do you beat yourself up? No! You can't. God doesn't do that so what gives you the right to do it to yourself? I'll paraphrase something I saw from Catholic speaker, writer, and overall awesome dude Matt Fradd when he said of pornography addiction that we cannot mistake little progress for no progress. Rejoice over little victories in whatever sin you may be trying to rid from your life. God does!
So what's the point of the story? The point is to remember that you are human and God is not. You will mess up. God won't. And He understands that. He gets it, and because He gets it, He is not going to rain down fire and brimstone every time you fall. Find great peace in that. God is so forgiving and so awesome and sometimes we forget that. So the next time you feel like God is distant or is punishing you in any way, remember these words from Hosea 11:9, "I will not give vent to my blazing anger...For I am God and not man, the Holy One present among you; I will not let the flames consume you." Have a great day and may God bless you.
In Christ,
Josh
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