Retreats. I have a very love/hate relationship with them. I hate them leading up to the actual weekend, and then when I leave, I am on a high that I haven't experienced since the last retreat that I attended. Lo and behold it happened again last weekend, and I think this retreat is the beginning of a change in attitude.
Bear Awakening. UNC holds this retreat once a semester, and was originally slated for early October, but the Colorado floods forced us to postpone it until November. To be honest, I did not want to staff this retreat. I was bitter leading up to it, and when it got postponed, I was even more upset with the fact that I didn't get a chance to get it out of the way. A ton of prep work and time out of an already busy schedule did not make for a happy Josh.
Then the weekend came. And it was awesome. I had never been on a retreat like this in all my life, and I was blown away. The retreat, nicknamed BA, was student led all the way from the coordinators to the staffers. The students gave the talks. The students led discussions. The students did skits. The students prayed their tails off. I was incredibly impressed (shout out here to Jackson and Katie for coordinating this whole thing).
So why was I so blown away and why is my attitude changing? One word: God. God was so present over the weekend and the Holy Spirit, in particular, was dropping some major grace bombs throughout the weekend. It started off poorly with retreaters getting lost and showing up late to the vast empty space of Wyoming, and some of the guys at my table just did not want to be there and that was very obvious. One guy was super pissed at God and another was just mad at everything. The other guys in my group...just wouldn't talk.
Then Saturday came. The men started to open up and share their lives with the rest of the table, and the emotions started pouring out. Tears during talks. Great discussions with the table. Then it was time for adoration. Jesus up there on the altar just pouring out His love for all of us there was incredible. Watching people cry their eyes out not just in sadness, but in happiness as they rejoiced at the outpouring of love from God and their brothers and sisters with them. The emotional roller coaster had started and was not ending any time soon.
Sunday was a continuation of the graces. Jesus was loving on all of us so much and everyone was just so thankful for the time they spent and the sacrifices made to make the weekend amazing. The retreat was a major success. But why was it so good for me? I wasn't actually on the retreat, just staffing. I had already heard the talks and knew the questions to ask. I knew what was coming and there were no surprises.
This is why it was awesome. I got to spend my time just loving on my brothers. The five guys in my family needed to be loved and I did that. I can remember going into adoration trying to pray for some of the things on my mind, but it was very apparent to me that I needed to be spending my time doing something else: praying for my brothers and sisters. I spent the next hour and a half praying over the guys in my family, my teammates, and some of the guys I see on a daily basis. I cried. They cried. Amazing.
Retreats. I'm beginning to love them. It's a large sacrifice to make, especially when you are working on one, but the reward is so great. I saw Jesus work through these students in ways that I never expected, and once again, He blew me away. So my one word of advice if you are reading this is to go on a retreat. It may be a sacrifice and it may be tough to make it work, but it will be so rewarding if you open your heart to Jesus. Go. You won't regret it.
In Christ,
Josh
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