Being a missionary is hard. You are asked to go to a brand new place to work with a team of three or more people that you do not know to talk to students you do not know about someone that they may or may not know (Hint...it's Jesus). Being a missionary is awesome. You get to travel to a new campus, receive new brothers and sisters in teammates, build life long friendships with students and strengthen your own relationship with Christ. So, being that this is my last week on campus of my first year as a missionary, I thought I would hit on a couple key highlights from the year.
THE MISSION
When I got to campus, I was scared to death. I am the ultimate introvert and now I was being asked to meet students that I did not know with the intention of building them up with Christ. OK take a deep breath Josh. It's going to be alright. You can do this. And lo and behold I did! I got the opportunity this year to work with many amazing men that, over the course of the school calendar, really started to understand and begin to form their own personal relationship with Christ and His Church. I watched boys become men right in front of my very eyes, and that has been a gift that I could not have received without taking this job. I still remember the first Bible study and after I asked a question, all I heard was the sound of crickets. But in our last book study of the year, I could ask a question and let the guys run with it. And even though, I will not be around in the coming years to watch the continued growth, I could not be more excited to see how those men set the campus on fire!
THE DATING FAST
For those of you that don't know, all first year missionaries are required to go on a dating fast for their first year on staff. Yeah, I was not cool with that. I remember praying about it and telling Jesus, "Lord please make this dating fast go away." But, it was never a prayer that I wanted to be answered immediately, because I knew that during this fast I was going to learn something that was worth knowing. I struggled at first. Oh boy did I struggle! I felt like I was falling for every girl I met on campus and emotional chastity was being tested extremely hard. But I got through it. I kept fighting the good fight and to be real honest, this fast has been the biggest blessing of my first year on staff. I have learned more about women than at any other time in my life. I used to look at all women as a potential soulmate instead of looking of them as first a sister in Christ. And as the dating fast comes to an end, I have learned invaluable lessons and gained the tools to make "the dating game" a lot less scary.
THE RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST
I thought I had a pretty good relationship with Christ when I got to campus. I went to mass multiple times a week (when I could). I prayed on a regular basis (when I could). Yeah, I would say that Jesus and I were pretty tight. I had no idea what I was in for this year. I had never prayed holy hours on a daily basis and never went mass every day until I got to training and then to campus. Jesus blew the doors wide open again. It was almost as if I was a 20 year old kid sitting in front of the Eucharist at conference just a few years back. Jesus showed to me wounds that I thought were healed and revealed himself to me more than I ever could have dreamed. My personal relationship with Christ has been strengthened so much and I have come to know him better than I ever have, and that...that is something that I can take with me not just to my campus next year but to the relationships that I continue to make and will continue to build throughout the rest of my life.
Missionary life is almost never easy. You get pulled in a million different directions everyday. You fundraise your own salary. The comforts of your past life get reduced to very minimum. You give up a lot. But you receive so much more. You gain brothers and sisters in Christ, the tools to have those tough conversations about the faith, and most importantly a renewed love for Christ and His Church. So my PSA to anyone in college that is looking for something after graduation or who wants to make an impact on the world, think about FOCUS. Discern it! Prayerfully consider applying for staff. And if you are fortunate enough to get the call like I did, don't turn it down. It will be the best decision you could ever make. It was for me.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Doubting Thomas
Thomas. A disciple. A follower of Jesus. A doubter. I always feel bad when people talk of Thomas as "The Doubting Thomas" because this was a man who in reality, gave his life to Christ, gave up everything he had at home to follow him and his teachings, and yet we almost always refer to him in this way. In John 20:24-29, we see the story behind the nickname and on the surface, and we can all think to ourselves, "Yeah, shame on you Thomas." However, when we really look into the passage and think our own lives, we all can put ourselves in his place.
What do I mean? Well, let's go back to the story. Thomas needed to see to believe. In verse 25, Thomas says to the other disciples that, "unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Jesus swings by the house. Thomas has the opportunity to do just that, and he comes to believe that Christ is risen. Jesus then tells them that blessed are those who have not yet seen and still believe. And even though that seems like a daunting task, it gives me hope knowing that even one of the greatest disciples doubted the risen Christ. So, I asked myself the question, where do I doubt?
This came up in my prayer the other day and it was a profound experience to say the least. As some of you may know, my job with FOCUS was not all that popular with my parents when I came on staff. I had heard stories of missionaries' parents that had radical conversions over their time with FOCUS, but in the back of my head I never thought that it could happen. At summer training, I vividly remember a conversation with Christ and him telling me not to worry about my family because he was taking care of it. And even then, I still could not fully trust in his healing power. Then things started to change.
Throughout the year, I have seen first hand how God has worked in my family. I have had multiple opportunities to talk about not just my job but about my faith with my immediate family, and lo and behold, they were interested! They truly cared about the work I was doing and are continually interested! But the biggest thing happened last week. I was on the phone with my dad and I was talking to him about possible placements for next year, and he was cool with all of them and supported any decision I, myself, or FOCUS made in that department. But here is the kicker. At the end of the conversation, my dad tells me that he was going to pray for whatever I needed. Wait...what?! My dad said he was going to PRAY for me. You're kidding right?! This drove me nearly to tears and I was so incredibly joyful to hear those words come from his mouth.
But to bring it full circle, as I was praying with this particular passage on Tuesday, I remembered that conversation with my dad and put it all in perspective. Jesus told me last summer that he was going to take care of my family. He told me that. How did I respond? I did not put all my trust in God at that time, and yet he came through. Now, I don't expect my dad to take my mom to mass every Sunday or start praying a daily rosary but God is working! He is converting the hearts of those closest to me even when I did not believe he could!
The point of the story is that yes, over time there will be instances where we doubt the power of God, where we do not put all of our trust in his saving and healing love. But do not get discouraged, because when you think something is impossible or too hard or not important enough for Christ, we must remember that all things are possible for Christ. And not only that all things are possible, but nothing is too small or unimportant for him. All we need to do is put our trust in him and let him do the heavy lifting. He will surprise you just as he continually surprises me.
What do I mean? Well, let's go back to the story. Thomas needed to see to believe. In verse 25, Thomas says to the other disciples that, "unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Jesus swings by the house. Thomas has the opportunity to do just that, and he comes to believe that Christ is risen. Jesus then tells them that blessed are those who have not yet seen and still believe. And even though that seems like a daunting task, it gives me hope knowing that even one of the greatest disciples doubted the risen Christ. So, I asked myself the question, where do I doubt?
This came up in my prayer the other day and it was a profound experience to say the least. As some of you may know, my job with FOCUS was not all that popular with my parents when I came on staff. I had heard stories of missionaries' parents that had radical conversions over their time with FOCUS, but in the back of my head I never thought that it could happen. At summer training, I vividly remember a conversation with Christ and him telling me not to worry about my family because he was taking care of it. And even then, I still could not fully trust in his healing power. Then things started to change.
Throughout the year, I have seen first hand how God has worked in my family. I have had multiple opportunities to talk about not just my job but about my faith with my immediate family, and lo and behold, they were interested! They truly cared about the work I was doing and are continually interested! But the biggest thing happened last week. I was on the phone with my dad and I was talking to him about possible placements for next year, and he was cool with all of them and supported any decision I, myself, or FOCUS made in that department. But here is the kicker. At the end of the conversation, my dad tells me that he was going to pray for whatever I needed. Wait...what?! My dad said he was going to PRAY for me. You're kidding right?! This drove me nearly to tears and I was so incredibly joyful to hear those words come from his mouth.
But to bring it full circle, as I was praying with this particular passage on Tuesday, I remembered that conversation with my dad and put it all in perspective. Jesus told me last summer that he was going to take care of my family. He told me that. How did I respond? I did not put all my trust in God at that time, and yet he came through. Now, I don't expect my dad to take my mom to mass every Sunday or start praying a daily rosary but God is working! He is converting the hearts of those closest to me even when I did not believe he could!
The point of the story is that yes, over time there will be instances where we doubt the power of God, where we do not put all of our trust in his saving and healing love. But do not get discouraged, because when you think something is impossible or too hard or not important enough for Christ, we must remember that all things are possible for Christ. And not only that all things are possible, but nothing is too small or unimportant for him. All we need to do is put our trust in him and let him do the heavy lifting. He will surprise you just as he continually surprises me.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
The Masters and Prayer..Wait What?
As many you of know, today is the start of The Masters, the most prestigious golf tournament in the country (go Tiger!) and the unofficial start of Spring. Golf...it is a game of extreme courage, endurance, and especially patience, and one of our country's greatest pastimes. Great. So how does that relate to prayer? Well, I had the great opportunity on Tuesday to hear a talk from one of the deacons in our Archdiocese on this topic of prayer. He likened it to golf in that whenever you talk to someone about their golf game, they will tell you that they are not good and have room for improvement. They may be good in one area, but rarely put the whole thing together. You hear the same thing about prayer. Ask someone about their prayer life and they will tell you that they are not very good or that they do not have the time to sit down and do it. But unlike golf, prayer is not something that you do. It's something you enter into. It's something you experience. And if you implement those three key aspects of your golf game (courage, endurance, and patience) into your prayer life, I guarantee you will do...better.
COURAGE
Prayer takes courage. In fact, it takes a lot of courage. Much like the golfer that has to decide to go for it when he would rather lay up, we have to go for it in our own prayer lives. As Christians, we MUST have the courage to be explicit when we enter into prayer. We have to be able to tell Jesus EVERYTHING. Don't hold back. You know that place deep down inside where you hurt the most? For your prayer life to be the most full and to have that place healed, you have to open it up to Jesus. In fact, that is exactly where he wants to go, but Jesus is the perfect gentleman and will not go there unless you open that door for him. So be courageous. Be explicit. Tell him what is on your mind and never hold anything back. I mean...he already knows what you need better than you do...
ENDURANCE
You can't win a golf tournament in one round. It takes putting together four solid rounds to take home the green jacket on one of the toughest courses in the world. We have to do the same in our prayer life. Be vigilant. Keep running to Jesus with your arms wide open because he is at the end waiting for you. Jesus wants to answer your prayers, but it may take a few times. Why? Because what Jesus ultimately desires for you is a relationship. If he answered every prayer the first time, it would be easy for us to see him as just a means to an end. "Jesus I need help with this test." You get an A. "Jesus, I can't seem to find a job." The very next day the big law firm calls you and offers you a spot. While these things do happen, it is not all that likely. We must endure and keep going back to Jesus with the same things. And this is not just when you do not get an answer. For those times when you are praying with a particular passage and something really sticks out at you, go back to it! He is trying to tell you that there is something there. The last thing you want to do is keep it on that surface level. Endure. Go deeper. Let Jesus penetrate those inner most depths of your heart.
PATIENCE
In the game of golf, patience is so very key. A golfer has to be patient in his game. Nobody picks up a club the first time and is a scratch golfer. It takes time to really master the game. This is the hardest for me. Patience is a lot like endurance. The difference though is that endurance is active. Patience is passive. "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" (Exodus 14:14). Being still is one of the hardest things that we face in this day and age where everything is instant. Our messages come over the internet and now to our phones. We can hop on a plane in the morning and be halfway around the world by night. But we have to find time to be still. The voice of God is magnified in the silence. Take some time everyday to be silent in the Lord and surely you will begin to hear his voice. When you are patient, things become more clear, and over time, those things in your life that seem dark and distant will begin to light up and become very near to you. But it does require patience. I have been trying so very hard to get out of the habit of always talking in prayer, and trying to take some time to let Jesus speak to me. Sometimes, it takes a couple minutes and sometimes it takes a few months. I am still waiting for answers to prayers that I voiced at the beginning of the school year. But, I know that if I remain patient, those prayers will be answered. Yours too.
Golf and prayer. So incredibly different, yet so incredibly similar. Be courageous. Endure. Be patient. Those three simple acts will not only help you shoot a lower score than your boss on a Friday afternoon, but they are essential to the life of your relationship with God. You can move forward in your prayer life or you can move backward. There is no middle ground. So, take these 3 action steps and apply them to your own relationship with God and see where He takes you!
COURAGE
Prayer takes courage. In fact, it takes a lot of courage. Much like the golfer that has to decide to go for it when he would rather lay up, we have to go for it in our own prayer lives. As Christians, we MUST have the courage to be explicit when we enter into prayer. We have to be able to tell Jesus EVERYTHING. Don't hold back. You know that place deep down inside where you hurt the most? For your prayer life to be the most full and to have that place healed, you have to open it up to Jesus. In fact, that is exactly where he wants to go, but Jesus is the perfect gentleman and will not go there unless you open that door for him. So be courageous. Be explicit. Tell him what is on your mind and never hold anything back. I mean...he already knows what you need better than you do...
ENDURANCE
You can't win a golf tournament in one round. It takes putting together four solid rounds to take home the green jacket on one of the toughest courses in the world. We have to do the same in our prayer life. Be vigilant. Keep running to Jesus with your arms wide open because he is at the end waiting for you. Jesus wants to answer your prayers, but it may take a few times. Why? Because what Jesus ultimately desires for you is a relationship. If he answered every prayer the first time, it would be easy for us to see him as just a means to an end. "Jesus I need help with this test." You get an A. "Jesus, I can't seem to find a job." The very next day the big law firm calls you and offers you a spot. While these things do happen, it is not all that likely. We must endure and keep going back to Jesus with the same things. And this is not just when you do not get an answer. For those times when you are praying with a particular passage and something really sticks out at you, go back to it! He is trying to tell you that there is something there. The last thing you want to do is keep it on that surface level. Endure. Go deeper. Let Jesus penetrate those inner most depths of your heart.
PATIENCE
In the game of golf, patience is so very key. A golfer has to be patient in his game. Nobody picks up a club the first time and is a scratch golfer. It takes time to really master the game. This is the hardest for me. Patience is a lot like endurance. The difference though is that endurance is active. Patience is passive. "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" (Exodus 14:14). Being still is one of the hardest things that we face in this day and age where everything is instant. Our messages come over the internet and now to our phones. We can hop on a plane in the morning and be halfway around the world by night. But we have to find time to be still. The voice of God is magnified in the silence. Take some time everyday to be silent in the Lord and surely you will begin to hear his voice. When you are patient, things become more clear, and over time, those things in your life that seem dark and distant will begin to light up and become very near to you. But it does require patience. I have been trying so very hard to get out of the habit of always talking in prayer, and trying to take some time to let Jesus speak to me. Sometimes, it takes a couple minutes and sometimes it takes a few months. I am still waiting for answers to prayers that I voiced at the beginning of the school year. But, I know that if I remain patient, those prayers will be answered. Yours too.
Golf and prayer. So incredibly different, yet so incredibly similar. Be courageous. Endure. Be patient. Those three simple acts will not only help you shoot a lower score than your boss on a Friday afternoon, but they are essential to the life of your relationship with God. You can move forward in your prayer life or you can move backward. There is no middle ground. So, take these 3 action steps and apply them to your own relationship with God and see where He takes you!
Friday, April 5, 2013
Metanoia
So last night, I'm sitting at mass listening to Father's homily and he starts talking about conversion and that this word translates into another word, "metanioa." Meta=mind and noia=outside. Outside of the mind. And Father likens this to having your mind blown. So, conversion is having your mind blown. Ok Father, I got it, but that got me thinking about the time I had my mind blown in this sense, and about the time when I had my conversion. So, today I thought that I would share that story with you.
It all really goes back to when I was a youngster. I grew up in the faith, a cradle Catholic, you may say, but only in the fact that I was baptized and confirmed in the Church. The faith was never that important to me and I never went to church but I would have always considered myself a Catholic. Fast forward to high school. I was dating an amazing Lutheran girl and I loved this girl...or so I thought. The relationship was impure and unchaste and was of a very utilitarian manner. It continued on this way into college...and then I started partying. I was living the life of a college kid, partying and hooking up with my girlfriend like it was no big deal. So, for the first time in my life I was not just staying away from my faith, but was now pulling myself further from it.
Well that particular relationship ended and it seemed as if my whole world came crashing down. I had always seen myself marrying this girl, becoming Lutheran and being a rock star teacher. And now that girl was gone. I didn't have her and to be real honest, I wasn't sure if I wanted to even be in school anymore. That summer was a struggle of partying, trying to find the next girl, and through all of that, through all of that time spent trying to define myself by who surrounded me and by what I was doing, I was finding a very hard time trying to figure out who I was. But towards the end of the summer and into that fall of my Junior year of college, I met another amazing woman. Little did I know that this was going to be the start of my "metanoia."
She was Catholic. She attended the Catholic high school in Lincoln and was not going to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and was definitely living the faith in her daily life. We started dating in the fall and in this time, she would invite me to mass and I remember her one time asking me if I wanted to go, and I responded with, "It's Tuesday. There is no mass on Tuesday." To which she told me, "Oh no, they have mass on Tuesdays too!" Great, now I am going to mass outside of my Sunday obligation. But when I went with her, mostly for the opportunity to hold hands during the Our Father and just to spend another hour with her, I finally started listening. And by the grace of God, it all started to finally make sense. It was like the priest was up there speaking directly the holes in my own heart. So, I decided to take ownership of this new feeling. I started going to mass every Sunday and praying from time to time. I even took the liberty to go into the box and receive the sacrament of reconciliation for the first time in 7 years!
But like most good things, my relationship with this girl came to an end as well, and I was kind of left hanging. She was my in! So, for the next 2 weeks or so I was kind of doing the Catholic thing, but I got a call from her and she invited me to a conference being put on in Denver, CO. I was pretty skeptical, so I talked not only to her about it, but I talked to another friend that was going and also to a missionary named Jim at UNL. I decided to dive in and take the risk, and at 4:30 on a Friday morning I was on a bus headed to Colorado.
This weekend, a conference put on by the Fellowship of Catholic University Students, rocked my world. There were talks, mass, fellowship with other students, but the one thing that really got to my heart was the Saturday night adoration session. For two and a half hours, I sat in adoration of our Lord Jesus Christ. I had been to adoration before, but this time was different. This time I finally got it. That is Jesus up there on the altar. Not bread, not a wafer, but Jesus himself, fully divine placing himself in a small piece of unleavened bread. I started crying. I cried and I cried and I cried. With 1500 other people around I cried, and these were tears of joy. The tears came from the feeling that for all this time, partying and chasing girls, Jesus was there waiting for me up on the altar just for me. Just to hear from me and for me to give him a chance. Jesus is the perfect gentleman and was never going to impose, but when I opened that door just a little bit, he blew the doors off the hinges.
So I was back. I was finally living the faith for the first time in my life. I was putting in holy hours and going to mass multiple times a week. I evened joined a Bible study! But the most important part was that I finally felt at home for the first time in a long time. And again, my plans of being an educator in the classroom were up in the air. But not because of a lack of want, but because God had something better in store for me. He wanted me to become a missionary. I fought it. Oh yeah I fought it (just ask Jim)! But I went and interviewed, came back home, was told no, told to go back and interview again, fought it...again, went back, interviewed, was told yes the next day and accepted the best job I have ever had. I am just finishing up my first year on campus and I know that God has placed me exactly where I need to be.
That's my story. That's what has happened to me over the last 2 and a half years. But the point of sharing it is to inspire. We all have stories of conversion, and we need to share these stories. I have been blessed to hear the testimonies of around 100 people and each time I am floored. The stories of God becoming the focal point in one's life are the reason I do what I do. I remember being at SEEK this year and seeing a girl from high school that I knew. My first thought was, "Wow, I did not expect to see her here." And the second was, "I bet there is a story there." Stories are how the faith gets passed on from generation to generation. Just look at Scripture, it is one long story. I know that you have your own story. Go share it. Look for an opportunity to share with someone how God has impacted your own life. You never know, you may just open for the door for God to write a story for someone else!
It all really goes back to when I was a youngster. I grew up in the faith, a cradle Catholic, you may say, but only in the fact that I was baptized and confirmed in the Church. The faith was never that important to me and I never went to church but I would have always considered myself a Catholic. Fast forward to high school. I was dating an amazing Lutheran girl and I loved this girl...or so I thought. The relationship was impure and unchaste and was of a very utilitarian manner. It continued on this way into college...and then I started partying. I was living the life of a college kid, partying and hooking up with my girlfriend like it was no big deal. So, for the first time in my life I was not just staying away from my faith, but was now pulling myself further from it.
Well that particular relationship ended and it seemed as if my whole world came crashing down. I had always seen myself marrying this girl, becoming Lutheran and being a rock star teacher. And now that girl was gone. I didn't have her and to be real honest, I wasn't sure if I wanted to even be in school anymore. That summer was a struggle of partying, trying to find the next girl, and through all of that, through all of that time spent trying to define myself by who surrounded me and by what I was doing, I was finding a very hard time trying to figure out who I was. But towards the end of the summer and into that fall of my Junior year of college, I met another amazing woman. Little did I know that this was going to be the start of my "metanoia."
She was Catholic. She attended the Catholic high school in Lincoln and was not going to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and was definitely living the faith in her daily life. We started dating in the fall and in this time, she would invite me to mass and I remember her one time asking me if I wanted to go, and I responded with, "It's Tuesday. There is no mass on Tuesday." To which she told me, "Oh no, they have mass on Tuesdays too!" Great, now I am going to mass outside of my Sunday obligation. But when I went with her, mostly for the opportunity to hold hands during the Our Father and just to spend another hour with her, I finally started listening. And by the grace of God, it all started to finally make sense. It was like the priest was up there speaking directly the holes in my own heart. So, I decided to take ownership of this new feeling. I started going to mass every Sunday and praying from time to time. I even took the liberty to go into the box and receive the sacrament of reconciliation for the first time in 7 years!
But like most good things, my relationship with this girl came to an end as well, and I was kind of left hanging. She was my in! So, for the next 2 weeks or so I was kind of doing the Catholic thing, but I got a call from her and she invited me to a conference being put on in Denver, CO. I was pretty skeptical, so I talked not only to her about it, but I talked to another friend that was going and also to a missionary named Jim at UNL. I decided to dive in and take the risk, and at 4:30 on a Friday morning I was on a bus headed to Colorado.
This weekend, a conference put on by the Fellowship of Catholic University Students, rocked my world. There were talks, mass, fellowship with other students, but the one thing that really got to my heart was the Saturday night adoration session. For two and a half hours, I sat in adoration of our Lord Jesus Christ. I had been to adoration before, but this time was different. This time I finally got it. That is Jesus up there on the altar. Not bread, not a wafer, but Jesus himself, fully divine placing himself in a small piece of unleavened bread. I started crying. I cried and I cried and I cried. With 1500 other people around I cried, and these were tears of joy. The tears came from the feeling that for all this time, partying and chasing girls, Jesus was there waiting for me up on the altar just for me. Just to hear from me and for me to give him a chance. Jesus is the perfect gentleman and was never going to impose, but when I opened that door just a little bit, he blew the doors off the hinges.
So I was back. I was finally living the faith for the first time in my life. I was putting in holy hours and going to mass multiple times a week. I evened joined a Bible study! But the most important part was that I finally felt at home for the first time in a long time. And again, my plans of being an educator in the classroom were up in the air. But not because of a lack of want, but because God had something better in store for me. He wanted me to become a missionary. I fought it. Oh yeah I fought it (just ask Jim)! But I went and interviewed, came back home, was told no, told to go back and interview again, fought it...again, went back, interviewed, was told yes the next day and accepted the best job I have ever had. I am just finishing up my first year on campus and I know that God has placed me exactly where I need to be.
That's my story. That's what has happened to me over the last 2 and a half years. But the point of sharing it is to inspire. We all have stories of conversion, and we need to share these stories. I have been blessed to hear the testimonies of around 100 people and each time I am floored. The stories of God becoming the focal point in one's life are the reason I do what I do. I remember being at SEEK this year and seeing a girl from high school that I knew. My first thought was, "Wow, I did not expect to see her here." And the second was, "I bet there is a story there." Stories are how the faith gets passed on from generation to generation. Just look at Scripture, it is one long story. I know that you have your own story. Go share it. Look for an opportunity to share with someone how God has impacted your own life. You never know, you may just open for the door for God to write a story for someone else!
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