OK, so to start off, this post isn't about Star Wars, but if that is all you were looking for, please don't leave. Please???
It's the start of a new year. My first year as a missionary is finally in the books, and I have moved onto a new campus, a new state, and a new Josh. I will be serving this school year in Greeley at the University of Northern Colorado. Tear em up Bears! (Am I doing that right???) Anyway, I just wanted to write today in an attempt to shake off the cobwebs from the summer and to gear up for the new year.
Welcome Week is almost over and while I was busy with meetings, nightly events, and a long two weeks, I was able to really look at the past year and evaluate my first campaign as a missionary. If I had one word to describe the last year, it would be...struggle. But this is not a bad thing. I struggled in many areas, and all of those struggles have led me to the humbling realization that I am nowhere near perfect and that I have a lot of work to do. That could be a lot of pressure, but you know what I say to that? Bring it on. I learned so much from those struggles and found out things about myself that I never knew or thought were in the past. Today, I just want to share two of those with you and how they will be a springboard for my next term as a missionary.
First, and foremost, is my own personal holiness. In FOCUS we constantly push the Big 3 (chastity, sobriety, and excellence) and last year I failed miserably in all three. While I won't go into detail about them, I will say that each area was a stumbling block for me in my first year. And when I failed, I pulled away from God. I did not want to pray, and kept myself distant from God. I went to mass, but was never really into it. I was embarrassed and was full of self-hating thoughts about how I was not good enough or that I should not be a missionary. Yeah, not typical things you hear from a missionary, but hey why not get them out into the open?
But what did I learn from all of this? I learned that I wasn't telling God anything! I kept all my thoughts, feelings, and desires from Him and therefore did not let the divine physician come in with His scalpel and...other medical tools (I don't know, I'm not a doctor) and let him do work. Jesus not only wants us at our best, but even more he wants us at our worst. And last year, I kept him from those places so often, that I was rarely able to give Him my best. This year, I hope to lay all of my struggles out on the table with Jesus and let him take care of them all, and I invite you to do the same. Felling crappy? Not able to get over the hump and move forward from a particular sin? Give it to Jesus...and I mean really give it to Jesus. None of this ho-hum, "yeah Jesus I guess you can work on this if you want..." No! Let go of it and let the Son of God take over.
Next, the mission. Now, those of you that know me, know that I am an introvert and outreach can be one of the toughest things for me. Jesus gave me a great gift to teach and I'm great at that, but when it comes to outreach...well let's just say I can get pretty awkward. Last fall, I did not let myself really let go and put myself out there in order to save souls. And I suffered. I was only able to reach a small number of students and while I love them to pieces, I missed a ton of people and I will have to answer for that. Students at UNO missed an opportunity to be evangelized and to know Jesus because I was too afraid of failure. That cannot happen.
Here is the learning point. I've heard it so many times in the last year, but yes eternity is worth the awkwardness. Not just my eternity, but the salvation of those around me. It may be tough for me to walk up to someone I don't know and start a conversation, but hey, maybe that person has no idea who Jesus is, and when he finally meets him, the person becomes the next pope. A stretch? Maybe. But you will never know if don't put yourself out there. And if the person thinks you're crazy and dismisses the idea of the Catholic Church as a whole...well at least you can say you tried and that burden does not have to weigh on your shoulders. So this year, I am making a resolution to put myself out there even if I just end up standing there with my hands in pockets like a goof.
A new hope. Feels good. Last year is behind me and all of the struggles, mistakes, and poor decisions are in the past. That's the beauty of the church. When we fail, we get a new start. Jesus loves us so much that every single time we move in the wrong direction, he forgives us and we get to get back on the right track. But it is not enough, just to seek forgiveness. We must seek holiness. We must seek sanctity. We must seek perfection. None of us deserve Heaven but what we can rely on is the mercy and goodness of Our Lord to get us over the roadblocks that lie in wait. Don't let your past define you. You're better than that.
In Christ,
Josh
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Wendy Davis, You are No Hero
So for those of you that are not informed of what has taken place in Texas, let me update you quickly. A bill was introduced to the Texas Senate that would have banned abortions after 20 weeks and would have most likely closed a large majority of the abortion mills in the state. Senator Wendy Davis attempted to filibuster the bill but after three times going off topic, her efforts were finished. However, her cohorts in the Senate continued to argue with parliamentary inquiries until they were blue in the face. After those were put to rest, the crowd (that never should be allowed in the room in the first place) cheered until the time ran out and the bill was taken off the table. Another loss for the pro-life groups across the country.
I stayed up until nearly 1:30 Eastern time watching, thinking about, and praying for this bill to pass. And I have to say that I was rather disgusted at what took place. I understand that people are misinformed and do not really know what they are cheering/voting for so let me fill those people in: you are cheering for death. When those men and women in the chamber room were cheering and chanting for Wendy and her friends, they were cheering for the deaths of tens and hundreds of thousands of innocent children. There is no other way to look at it. Abortion is murder whether it is in the 20th week or in the first day, and those that opposed the bill are explicitly voicing their opinions that this is okay. America had a great opportunity last night to take a step in the right direction after so many were taken backwards and they failed. They did not fail us as citizens, but they failed the many many lives that will be taken before they even get a chance to breathe their first breaths of the air that fill this great country.
With this filibuster and with today's news that DOMA was ruled unconstitutional and Prop 8 was taken off the table, I get very upset at where this country is headed. We have people, possibly your next door neighbors, that are completely fine with not only being responsible for the murder of children, but for the breakdown of the family as a whole. It may not be entirely their fault though. The mainstream media and those that we call "celebrities" are all in favor of the culture of death and fill our heads with this junk every single day. It's a miracle that we all are not in favor of this garbage. And that gives me hope. I know that God knows what He is doing. He has a plan that is bigger than one court ruling in one state in country in the entire world. It just gets very hard to trust sometimes, and the fact that this culture is so hell bent on death does not make it any easier. However, as Christians we need to fully place our trust in God that something good will come of this.
Right is right even if nobody is doing it, and wrong is wrong even if everybody is doing it. And maybe I will ruffle some feathers by saying this but I believe it needs to be said. Wendy Davis and those that are in favor of the murder and absolute destruction of babies are wrong and should not be happy about what they accomplished. Ms. Davis you are no hero even though you are being praised as a God by those that do not even believe in a higher power. And I continue to pray for those that are still waiting to be told the truth and take ownership of that. Our country right now is afraid of responsibility, afraid of accountability, and afraid of the truth. But my trust is in God who never fails, who is always accountable, who is always loving, and holds me to the same standards.
So to sum up my rant here, I just have to say that while I am disappointed in what took place over the last 12 hours, I still have a lot of hope. I have a lot of hope that good will come of this. And to my pro-life brothers and sisters that may not totally agree with some of the things that I am saying, I apologize. But please know that I am putting my trust and my faith in God and not in our government. When push comes to shove, know that I will be standing with you arm in arm dying in a prison before I take the life of one innocent child so that my life can be convenient and comfortable. Peace.
In Christ,
Josh
I stayed up until nearly 1:30 Eastern time watching, thinking about, and praying for this bill to pass. And I have to say that I was rather disgusted at what took place. I understand that people are misinformed and do not really know what they are cheering/voting for so let me fill those people in: you are cheering for death. When those men and women in the chamber room were cheering and chanting for Wendy and her friends, they were cheering for the deaths of tens and hundreds of thousands of innocent children. There is no other way to look at it. Abortion is murder whether it is in the 20th week or in the first day, and those that opposed the bill are explicitly voicing their opinions that this is okay. America had a great opportunity last night to take a step in the right direction after so many were taken backwards and they failed. They did not fail us as citizens, but they failed the many many lives that will be taken before they even get a chance to breathe their first breaths of the air that fill this great country.
With this filibuster and with today's news that DOMA was ruled unconstitutional and Prop 8 was taken off the table, I get very upset at where this country is headed. We have people, possibly your next door neighbors, that are completely fine with not only being responsible for the murder of children, but for the breakdown of the family as a whole. It may not be entirely their fault though. The mainstream media and those that we call "celebrities" are all in favor of the culture of death and fill our heads with this junk every single day. It's a miracle that we all are not in favor of this garbage. And that gives me hope. I know that God knows what He is doing. He has a plan that is bigger than one court ruling in one state in country in the entire world. It just gets very hard to trust sometimes, and the fact that this culture is so hell bent on death does not make it any easier. However, as Christians we need to fully place our trust in God that something good will come of this.
Right is right even if nobody is doing it, and wrong is wrong even if everybody is doing it. And maybe I will ruffle some feathers by saying this but I believe it needs to be said. Wendy Davis and those that are in favor of the murder and absolute destruction of babies are wrong and should not be happy about what they accomplished. Ms. Davis you are no hero even though you are being praised as a God by those that do not even believe in a higher power. And I continue to pray for those that are still waiting to be told the truth and take ownership of that. Our country right now is afraid of responsibility, afraid of accountability, and afraid of the truth. But my trust is in God who never fails, who is always accountable, who is always loving, and holds me to the same standards.
So to sum up my rant here, I just have to say that while I am disappointed in what took place over the last 12 hours, I still have a lot of hope. I have a lot of hope that good will come of this. And to my pro-life brothers and sisters that may not totally agree with some of the things that I am saying, I apologize. But please know that I am putting my trust and my faith in God and not in our government. When push comes to shove, know that I will be standing with you arm in arm dying in a prison before I take the life of one innocent child so that my life can be convenient and comfortable. Peace.
In Christ,
Josh
Monday, May 20, 2013
Sufferin Succotash!
Suffering: it sucks. We all experience suffering in some way. Some of us deal with financial difficulties, problems with a terrible boss at work, or maybe you have been searching for that one person in the world that is going to the be the Juliet to your Romeo or vice versa. Whatever the case may be, we all go through some sort of suffering in our lives. And from this, we can go two directions. We can let it rule our lives and make us miserable, or we can tackle it head on...but not in the way that you would think.
Psalm 37 asks the question, "Why do the wicked prosper and the good suffer?" Good question. In our present day society, we see many examples of the wicked prospering while we sit in our suffering. That jerk in accounting just got a raise, while you bust your hump and get nothing. Or the captain of the football team gets another award and praised by the whole school while you get a 4.0 and still nobody knows who you are. These are all "first world" examples of suffering, but let's take a look at what this Psalm tells us about true suffering. God tells us that we have to "wait for him" (Psalm 37:7). I don't want to wait. "The poor will inherit the earth" (37:11). I sure as heck don't want to be poor. "The righteous one is generous and gives" (37:21). I want to keep my stuff. And the good "may stumble" (37:23). Yeah, I want to stand upright on my feet. All these things are going to happen to those who strive for righteousness. It is inevitable. But, it is what we do with this suffering that truly matters.
Picture a timeline. This timeline reaches from the beginning of the world, to the very end. OK got it? Now, try and find your short lifespan on there. You can't. The time we have here on earth is so minute that you would never be able to place it on a timeline. So, as a human being, I should probably make good with the time that I have. There are a ton of good things we can do in our time, but today we continue with the theme of suffering. What can I do with my suffering that will make an impact? This may sound obvious and trivial, but offer it up! And there are so many things for which you can offer your suffering. It could be for drought or the end to abortion or for the wars all over the world. OR...or you could offer it up for that guy who got the raise in accounting. OR...or you could offer it up for that football player that got all the recognition. If it is the wicked that are prospering and receiving all the praise and glory, then they probably could use those prayers and there is nothing more honorable on this earth than to suffer for the kingdom of God and His people...all of His people.
We all suffer. Now, the suffering that we experience in this lifetime is nothing like the hardships that Peter and the rest of the apostles went through. I can walk down the street proclaiming that I am a Christian to anyone and yeah, I might get some strange looks, but my life is never in danger. Some of you reading this may have never had to face any real suffering. I know I sure didn't when I was younger. Things came easy to me. I got good grades and was halfway decent at throwing a baseball and had a good group of friends around me. But in an instant all that can be taken away, and what remains is the opportunity to build a relationship with God. Take that opportunity! If we just let our problems sit on the skin instead of offering them up to the divine healer, they eventually will get infected. And after that, the infection starts to spread and impact other parts of your body. We cannot let that happen to our souls. They are far too precious and important to let anything happen to them. So we need to stop trying to save our own souls and fix our own problems and let Jesus do it. He's better at it anyway.
In Christ,
Josh
Psalm 37 asks the question, "Why do the wicked prosper and the good suffer?" Good question. In our present day society, we see many examples of the wicked prospering while we sit in our suffering. That jerk in accounting just got a raise, while you bust your hump and get nothing. Or the captain of the football team gets another award and praised by the whole school while you get a 4.0 and still nobody knows who you are. These are all "first world" examples of suffering, but let's take a look at what this Psalm tells us about true suffering. God tells us that we have to "wait for him" (Psalm 37:7). I don't want to wait. "The poor will inherit the earth" (37:11). I sure as heck don't want to be poor. "The righteous one is generous and gives" (37:21). I want to keep my stuff. And the good "may stumble" (37:23). Yeah, I want to stand upright on my feet. All these things are going to happen to those who strive for righteousness. It is inevitable. But, it is what we do with this suffering that truly matters.
Picture a timeline. This timeline reaches from the beginning of the world, to the very end. OK got it? Now, try and find your short lifespan on there. You can't. The time we have here on earth is so minute that you would never be able to place it on a timeline. So, as a human being, I should probably make good with the time that I have. There are a ton of good things we can do in our time, but today we continue with the theme of suffering. What can I do with my suffering that will make an impact? This may sound obvious and trivial, but offer it up! And there are so many things for which you can offer your suffering. It could be for drought or the end to abortion or for the wars all over the world. OR...or you could offer it up for that guy who got the raise in accounting. OR...or you could offer it up for that football player that got all the recognition. If it is the wicked that are prospering and receiving all the praise and glory, then they probably could use those prayers and there is nothing more honorable on this earth than to suffer for the kingdom of God and His people...all of His people.
We all suffer. Now, the suffering that we experience in this lifetime is nothing like the hardships that Peter and the rest of the apostles went through. I can walk down the street proclaiming that I am a Christian to anyone and yeah, I might get some strange looks, but my life is never in danger. Some of you reading this may have never had to face any real suffering. I know I sure didn't when I was younger. Things came easy to me. I got good grades and was halfway decent at throwing a baseball and had a good group of friends around me. But in an instant all that can be taken away, and what remains is the opportunity to build a relationship with God. Take that opportunity! If we just let our problems sit on the skin instead of offering them up to the divine healer, they eventually will get infected. And after that, the infection starts to spread and impact other parts of your body. We cannot let that happen to our souls. They are far too precious and important to let anything happen to them. So we need to stop trying to save our own souls and fix our own problems and let Jesus do it. He's better at it anyway.
In Christ,
Josh
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Christ in College
College. It's the most important 4, well maybe ...ok 6 years of your life. You come in at the ripe young age of 18 and hopefully you leave by the time you are 30 with a degree in hand. And hopefully you can actually find a job with said degree. Having these goals are great. As Americans we all strive to live that American dream. We want to have a great job, start a family, and make enough money so that the golf course becomes your second home when you hit the age of 70. But what about your faith? What goals do you have to sustain and build your relationship with Christ and his Church? These questions should be just as important, if not more important than the major you end up choosing. Well today, I am going to give you some tips for making the faith your own when you leave the nest.
The first step is choosing the right school. There are all kinds of schools around; teaching schools, nursing schools, tech schools and all of them have great qualities. But the Christian culture of the school needs to factored in as well. Is there a church on campus? What about a Newman Center? Is there at least a good Catholic community around? If the answers to these questions are yes, then go for it! For me, having these types of things on my campus was huge in my coming back to the faith. Without the Newman Center at the greatest college in the world (the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in case you were wondering) along with the greatest people in the world, I may have never found my way back to the faith. So do yourself a favor and ask yourself those questions before you decide on a school.
OK so you chose to go to a school with all of these things. Great, now what??? USE THEM! Colleges do not have Newman Centers and Catholic churches on campus so they can sit empty. Get your butt over there and pray. "But Josh, you don't understand. I have 3 tests this week and 4 papers and 19 projects. How am I going to find time to get a holy hour in?" I lived the college life. Unless you are triple majoring in Chemistry, Biology, and Physics, you are not that busy. The college schedule always allows for free time. It's up to you as to how you are going to spend that free time. You can party. You can watch TV. You can hang out with friends. But what about building your relationship with Jesus? All he wants is some time with you. Go hang out with Jesus. Do your homework in the chapel. Whatever you have to do to get even 30 minutes with Jesus, do it! Because as St. Josemaria Escriva so famously says, "When you approach the tabernacle, remember that he has been waiting for you for twenty centuries." The least you can do is give him some of your time.
"Alright Josh, so I picked a nice Catholic college and I'm praying and going to mass and doing all of those things. What's next?" What's next? Go spread the good news! The Catholic faith is an absolute gift from God and by holding it in for yourself, all you are doing is being selfish and doing a disservice to others. There are literally tens and hundreds of thousands of college students on campuses all over the country that are thirsting for truth. Go give it to them! Now, you can't go beat someone over the head with a Bible or start condemning them for their sins. Just go love them. It's really that simple. Go live your life with someone else and the love of Christ that is radiating through you will rub off on them. I guarantee it. It may be a little scary to go out and evangelize (I know. I know. Catholics hate the E-word). This is why the community of Catholic students that I mentioned earlier is so very important. You are going to meet people in college that are not Catholic. It's inevitable. Your task is to bring them in. They will probably be reluctant to go to mass or a Bible study right off the bat, but bring them to a movie night or a dance, or anything else that is being held. The relationship with that particular person is far more important than the "rules" at the start. Love them like people loved me in college and who knows, maybe they end up becoming a FOCUS missionary...
College is hard. You have homework. You have tests. You may have a job. It is a lot to juggle when you start those 4, 5, or 6 years. But if there is one piece of advice that I can give you, it is that you should truly consider making the faith your own. Find people that are going to help you get the ball rolling. If you still haven't decided on a school, look for ones that are FOCUS campuses. Those schools have teams of four or more people that have the job of helping you find your faith. And when you find the faith, don't hold it in. Share it with others and God will fill you up more abundantly than you ever imagined.
Peace and love,
Josh
The first step is choosing the right school. There are all kinds of schools around; teaching schools, nursing schools, tech schools and all of them have great qualities. But the Christian culture of the school needs to factored in as well. Is there a church on campus? What about a Newman Center? Is there at least a good Catholic community around? If the answers to these questions are yes, then go for it! For me, having these types of things on my campus was huge in my coming back to the faith. Without the Newman Center at the greatest college in the world (the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in case you were wondering) along with the greatest people in the world, I may have never found my way back to the faith. So do yourself a favor and ask yourself those questions before you decide on a school.
OK so you chose to go to a school with all of these things. Great, now what??? USE THEM! Colleges do not have Newman Centers and Catholic churches on campus so they can sit empty. Get your butt over there and pray. "But Josh, you don't understand. I have 3 tests this week and 4 papers and 19 projects. How am I going to find time to get a holy hour in?" I lived the college life. Unless you are triple majoring in Chemistry, Biology, and Physics, you are not that busy. The college schedule always allows for free time. It's up to you as to how you are going to spend that free time. You can party. You can watch TV. You can hang out with friends. But what about building your relationship with Jesus? All he wants is some time with you. Go hang out with Jesus. Do your homework in the chapel. Whatever you have to do to get even 30 minutes with Jesus, do it! Because as St. Josemaria Escriva so famously says, "When you approach the tabernacle, remember that he has been waiting for you for twenty centuries." The least you can do is give him some of your time.
"Alright Josh, so I picked a nice Catholic college and I'm praying and going to mass and doing all of those things. What's next?" What's next? Go spread the good news! The Catholic faith is an absolute gift from God and by holding it in for yourself, all you are doing is being selfish and doing a disservice to others. There are literally tens and hundreds of thousands of college students on campuses all over the country that are thirsting for truth. Go give it to them! Now, you can't go beat someone over the head with a Bible or start condemning them for their sins. Just go love them. It's really that simple. Go live your life with someone else and the love of Christ that is radiating through you will rub off on them. I guarantee it. It may be a little scary to go out and evangelize (I know. I know. Catholics hate the E-word). This is why the community of Catholic students that I mentioned earlier is so very important. You are going to meet people in college that are not Catholic. It's inevitable. Your task is to bring them in. They will probably be reluctant to go to mass or a Bible study right off the bat, but bring them to a movie night or a dance, or anything else that is being held. The relationship with that particular person is far more important than the "rules" at the start. Love them like people loved me in college and who knows, maybe they end up becoming a FOCUS missionary...
College is hard. You have homework. You have tests. You may have a job. It is a lot to juggle when you start those 4, 5, or 6 years. But if there is one piece of advice that I can give you, it is that you should truly consider making the faith your own. Find people that are going to help you get the ball rolling. If you still haven't decided on a school, look for ones that are FOCUS campuses. Those schools have teams of four or more people that have the job of helping you find your faith. And when you find the faith, don't hold it in. Share it with others and God will fill you up more abundantly than you ever imagined.
Peace and love,
Josh
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Relate It!
It is certainly no secret that men do not like to talk about their feelings, especially when those feelings revolve around something that may make them feel embarrassed or vulnerable. Guys would much rather bottle it up and push it down to the inner depths of their core, where for the most part it remains hidden. But what happens then? Does the issue go away? No! It festers as if it were a zit on the chin of a freshly 16 year old kid who is about to ask out the girl of his dreams. It may take hours, days, weeks, or even months but eventually that thing is going to blow.
This is exactly the sort of situation that Jesus wants us to avoid, and not just every once in awhile but all the time! We all battle certain issues and have our very own crosses to carry everyday. And you know what, sometimes those crosses feel nearly impossible to carry and we feel as if the whole world is going to crash down on top of us. But Jesus tells us that he wants to help. He wants to help us carry that cross just as Simon of Cyrene did for him nearly 2,000 years ago. "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). God wants to be there for every single time you feel sad, hurt, angry, scared, embarrassed, or any other emotion that comes to mind. He wants to enter into those dark places and shine light on them so that he can heal them.
OK so what happens to us when we don't relate those things to Christ; when we do not let him enter into the dark places of our very soul? Remember, Jesus is the PERFECT gentleman and will not go there unless you open the door. Here is what happens. At first, you may feel fine. Those feelings of anger or sadness may go away for a short while. Great. However, when this happens over time those dark places get filled up. It is very much like a landfill that eventually reaches capacity with all the garbage that we place down there. And what happens over time, is that there must be some sort of release and this happens in a variety of ways. It could be expressed through external noise such as music or TV or sports, which are good things, but can be a giant mask for the problem that is lying underneath. And even then the problem is not yet resolved, which can lead to more self-destructing habits such as drugs and alcohol. And when it comes to this, you are not only harming yourself but putting those around you in dangerous and uncomfortable situations, all while your original problem is not yet resolved.
So what does Jesus want us to do when something is off, when something is just not quite right? He wants us to tell him! Jesus loves us in our brokenness and wants to heal those places at the very root! Think of your best friend or your significant other. You know them so well that you can instantly tell when something is not right, when something is just a little bit off. And how does that make you feel? You want to help them! You want them to come to you because you want to resolve whatever issue is going on inside. Jesus is the same way except so many times more! Jesus wants to hear your problem and better yet, being the divine physician that he is, he can heal that wound. He can dig around in there, fix the break, and close up the wound leaving no scars. But it is up to us to give him that opportunity.
Tell Jesus your problems. Relate everything to him. And do not hold anything back. I mean, really, he knows you better than you do. Jesus knows everything that is going on inside that mess of a head that we all have and wants nothing more than to figure everything out. So let him. The consequences are far too serious if we don't. You harm yourself. You break bonds with people that truly care about you, and you put yourself in a very scary place. As my boss always tells me...be clear, simple, and easy with Jesus. After that, the rest is well...clear, simple, and easy.
This is exactly the sort of situation that Jesus wants us to avoid, and not just every once in awhile but all the time! We all battle certain issues and have our very own crosses to carry everyday. And you know what, sometimes those crosses feel nearly impossible to carry and we feel as if the whole world is going to crash down on top of us. But Jesus tells us that he wants to help. He wants to help us carry that cross just as Simon of Cyrene did for him nearly 2,000 years ago. "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). God wants to be there for every single time you feel sad, hurt, angry, scared, embarrassed, or any other emotion that comes to mind. He wants to enter into those dark places and shine light on them so that he can heal them.
OK so what happens to us when we don't relate those things to Christ; when we do not let him enter into the dark places of our very soul? Remember, Jesus is the PERFECT gentleman and will not go there unless you open the door. Here is what happens. At first, you may feel fine. Those feelings of anger or sadness may go away for a short while. Great. However, when this happens over time those dark places get filled up. It is very much like a landfill that eventually reaches capacity with all the garbage that we place down there. And what happens over time, is that there must be some sort of release and this happens in a variety of ways. It could be expressed through external noise such as music or TV or sports, which are good things, but can be a giant mask for the problem that is lying underneath. And even then the problem is not yet resolved, which can lead to more self-destructing habits such as drugs and alcohol. And when it comes to this, you are not only harming yourself but putting those around you in dangerous and uncomfortable situations, all while your original problem is not yet resolved.
So what does Jesus want us to do when something is off, when something is just not quite right? He wants us to tell him! Jesus loves us in our brokenness and wants to heal those places at the very root! Think of your best friend or your significant other. You know them so well that you can instantly tell when something is not right, when something is just a little bit off. And how does that make you feel? You want to help them! You want them to come to you because you want to resolve whatever issue is going on inside. Jesus is the same way except so many times more! Jesus wants to hear your problem and better yet, being the divine physician that he is, he can heal that wound. He can dig around in there, fix the break, and close up the wound leaving no scars. But it is up to us to give him that opportunity.
Tell Jesus your problems. Relate everything to him. And do not hold anything back. I mean, really, he knows you better than you do. Jesus knows everything that is going on inside that mess of a head that we all have and wants nothing more than to figure everything out. So let him. The consequences are far too serious if we don't. You harm yourself. You break bonds with people that truly care about you, and you put yourself in a very scary place. As my boss always tells me...be clear, simple, and easy with Jesus. After that, the rest is well...clear, simple, and easy.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
My First Year
Being a missionary is hard. You are asked to go to a brand new place to work with a team of three or more people that you do not know to talk to students you do not know about someone that they may or may not know (Hint...it's Jesus). Being a missionary is awesome. You get to travel to a new campus, receive new brothers and sisters in teammates, build life long friendships with students and strengthen your own relationship with Christ. So, being that this is my last week on campus of my first year as a missionary, I thought I would hit on a couple key highlights from the year.
THE MISSION
When I got to campus, I was scared to death. I am the ultimate introvert and now I was being asked to meet students that I did not know with the intention of building them up with Christ. OK take a deep breath Josh. It's going to be alright. You can do this. And lo and behold I did! I got the opportunity this year to work with many amazing men that, over the course of the school calendar, really started to understand and begin to form their own personal relationship with Christ and His Church. I watched boys become men right in front of my very eyes, and that has been a gift that I could not have received without taking this job. I still remember the first Bible study and after I asked a question, all I heard was the sound of crickets. But in our last book study of the year, I could ask a question and let the guys run with it. And even though, I will not be around in the coming years to watch the continued growth, I could not be more excited to see how those men set the campus on fire!
THE DATING FAST
For those of you that don't know, all first year missionaries are required to go on a dating fast for their first year on staff. Yeah, I was not cool with that. I remember praying about it and telling Jesus, "Lord please make this dating fast go away." But, it was never a prayer that I wanted to be answered immediately, because I knew that during this fast I was going to learn something that was worth knowing. I struggled at first. Oh boy did I struggle! I felt like I was falling for every girl I met on campus and emotional chastity was being tested extremely hard. But I got through it. I kept fighting the good fight and to be real honest, this fast has been the biggest blessing of my first year on staff. I have learned more about women than at any other time in my life. I used to look at all women as a potential soulmate instead of looking of them as first a sister in Christ. And as the dating fast comes to an end, I have learned invaluable lessons and gained the tools to make "the dating game" a lot less scary.
THE RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST
I thought I had a pretty good relationship with Christ when I got to campus. I went to mass multiple times a week (when I could). I prayed on a regular basis (when I could). Yeah, I would say that Jesus and I were pretty tight. I had no idea what I was in for this year. I had never prayed holy hours on a daily basis and never went mass every day until I got to training and then to campus. Jesus blew the doors wide open again. It was almost as if I was a 20 year old kid sitting in front of the Eucharist at conference just a few years back. Jesus showed to me wounds that I thought were healed and revealed himself to me more than I ever could have dreamed. My personal relationship with Christ has been strengthened so much and I have come to know him better than I ever have, and that...that is something that I can take with me not just to my campus next year but to the relationships that I continue to make and will continue to build throughout the rest of my life.
Missionary life is almost never easy. You get pulled in a million different directions everyday. You fundraise your own salary. The comforts of your past life get reduced to very minimum. You give up a lot. But you receive so much more. You gain brothers and sisters in Christ, the tools to have those tough conversations about the faith, and most importantly a renewed love for Christ and His Church. So my PSA to anyone in college that is looking for something after graduation or who wants to make an impact on the world, think about FOCUS. Discern it! Prayerfully consider applying for staff. And if you are fortunate enough to get the call like I did, don't turn it down. It will be the best decision you could ever make. It was for me.
THE MISSION
When I got to campus, I was scared to death. I am the ultimate introvert and now I was being asked to meet students that I did not know with the intention of building them up with Christ. OK take a deep breath Josh. It's going to be alright. You can do this. And lo and behold I did! I got the opportunity this year to work with many amazing men that, over the course of the school calendar, really started to understand and begin to form their own personal relationship with Christ and His Church. I watched boys become men right in front of my very eyes, and that has been a gift that I could not have received without taking this job. I still remember the first Bible study and after I asked a question, all I heard was the sound of crickets. But in our last book study of the year, I could ask a question and let the guys run with it. And even though, I will not be around in the coming years to watch the continued growth, I could not be more excited to see how those men set the campus on fire!
THE DATING FAST
For those of you that don't know, all first year missionaries are required to go on a dating fast for their first year on staff. Yeah, I was not cool with that. I remember praying about it and telling Jesus, "Lord please make this dating fast go away." But, it was never a prayer that I wanted to be answered immediately, because I knew that during this fast I was going to learn something that was worth knowing. I struggled at first. Oh boy did I struggle! I felt like I was falling for every girl I met on campus and emotional chastity was being tested extremely hard. But I got through it. I kept fighting the good fight and to be real honest, this fast has been the biggest blessing of my first year on staff. I have learned more about women than at any other time in my life. I used to look at all women as a potential soulmate instead of looking of them as first a sister in Christ. And as the dating fast comes to an end, I have learned invaluable lessons and gained the tools to make "the dating game" a lot less scary.
THE RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST
I thought I had a pretty good relationship with Christ when I got to campus. I went to mass multiple times a week (when I could). I prayed on a regular basis (when I could). Yeah, I would say that Jesus and I were pretty tight. I had no idea what I was in for this year. I had never prayed holy hours on a daily basis and never went mass every day until I got to training and then to campus. Jesus blew the doors wide open again. It was almost as if I was a 20 year old kid sitting in front of the Eucharist at conference just a few years back. Jesus showed to me wounds that I thought were healed and revealed himself to me more than I ever could have dreamed. My personal relationship with Christ has been strengthened so much and I have come to know him better than I ever have, and that...that is something that I can take with me not just to my campus next year but to the relationships that I continue to make and will continue to build throughout the rest of my life.
Missionary life is almost never easy. You get pulled in a million different directions everyday. You fundraise your own salary. The comforts of your past life get reduced to very minimum. You give up a lot. But you receive so much more. You gain brothers and sisters in Christ, the tools to have those tough conversations about the faith, and most importantly a renewed love for Christ and His Church. So my PSA to anyone in college that is looking for something after graduation or who wants to make an impact on the world, think about FOCUS. Discern it! Prayerfully consider applying for staff. And if you are fortunate enough to get the call like I did, don't turn it down. It will be the best decision you could ever make. It was for me.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Doubting Thomas
Thomas. A disciple. A follower of Jesus. A doubter. I always feel bad when people talk of Thomas as "The Doubting Thomas" because this was a man who in reality, gave his life to Christ, gave up everything he had at home to follow him and his teachings, and yet we almost always refer to him in this way. In John 20:24-29, we see the story behind the nickname and on the surface, and we can all think to ourselves, "Yeah, shame on you Thomas." However, when we really look into the passage and think our own lives, we all can put ourselves in his place.
What do I mean? Well, let's go back to the story. Thomas needed to see to believe. In verse 25, Thomas says to the other disciples that, "unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Jesus swings by the house. Thomas has the opportunity to do just that, and he comes to believe that Christ is risen. Jesus then tells them that blessed are those who have not yet seen and still believe. And even though that seems like a daunting task, it gives me hope knowing that even one of the greatest disciples doubted the risen Christ. So, I asked myself the question, where do I doubt?
This came up in my prayer the other day and it was a profound experience to say the least. As some of you may know, my job with FOCUS was not all that popular with my parents when I came on staff. I had heard stories of missionaries' parents that had radical conversions over their time with FOCUS, but in the back of my head I never thought that it could happen. At summer training, I vividly remember a conversation with Christ and him telling me not to worry about my family because he was taking care of it. And even then, I still could not fully trust in his healing power. Then things started to change.
Throughout the year, I have seen first hand how God has worked in my family. I have had multiple opportunities to talk about not just my job but about my faith with my immediate family, and lo and behold, they were interested! They truly cared about the work I was doing and are continually interested! But the biggest thing happened last week. I was on the phone with my dad and I was talking to him about possible placements for next year, and he was cool with all of them and supported any decision I, myself, or FOCUS made in that department. But here is the kicker. At the end of the conversation, my dad tells me that he was going to pray for whatever I needed. Wait...what?! My dad said he was going to PRAY for me. You're kidding right?! This drove me nearly to tears and I was so incredibly joyful to hear those words come from his mouth.
But to bring it full circle, as I was praying with this particular passage on Tuesday, I remembered that conversation with my dad and put it all in perspective. Jesus told me last summer that he was going to take care of my family. He told me that. How did I respond? I did not put all my trust in God at that time, and yet he came through. Now, I don't expect my dad to take my mom to mass every Sunday or start praying a daily rosary but God is working! He is converting the hearts of those closest to me even when I did not believe he could!
The point of the story is that yes, over time there will be instances where we doubt the power of God, where we do not put all of our trust in his saving and healing love. But do not get discouraged, because when you think something is impossible or too hard or not important enough for Christ, we must remember that all things are possible for Christ. And not only that all things are possible, but nothing is too small or unimportant for him. All we need to do is put our trust in him and let him do the heavy lifting. He will surprise you just as he continually surprises me.
What do I mean? Well, let's go back to the story. Thomas needed to see to believe. In verse 25, Thomas says to the other disciples that, "unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Jesus swings by the house. Thomas has the opportunity to do just that, and he comes to believe that Christ is risen. Jesus then tells them that blessed are those who have not yet seen and still believe. And even though that seems like a daunting task, it gives me hope knowing that even one of the greatest disciples doubted the risen Christ. So, I asked myself the question, where do I doubt?
This came up in my prayer the other day and it was a profound experience to say the least. As some of you may know, my job with FOCUS was not all that popular with my parents when I came on staff. I had heard stories of missionaries' parents that had radical conversions over their time with FOCUS, but in the back of my head I never thought that it could happen. At summer training, I vividly remember a conversation with Christ and him telling me not to worry about my family because he was taking care of it. And even then, I still could not fully trust in his healing power. Then things started to change.
Throughout the year, I have seen first hand how God has worked in my family. I have had multiple opportunities to talk about not just my job but about my faith with my immediate family, and lo and behold, they were interested! They truly cared about the work I was doing and are continually interested! But the biggest thing happened last week. I was on the phone with my dad and I was talking to him about possible placements for next year, and he was cool with all of them and supported any decision I, myself, or FOCUS made in that department. But here is the kicker. At the end of the conversation, my dad tells me that he was going to pray for whatever I needed. Wait...what?! My dad said he was going to PRAY for me. You're kidding right?! This drove me nearly to tears and I was so incredibly joyful to hear those words come from his mouth.
But to bring it full circle, as I was praying with this particular passage on Tuesday, I remembered that conversation with my dad and put it all in perspective. Jesus told me last summer that he was going to take care of my family. He told me that. How did I respond? I did not put all my trust in God at that time, and yet he came through. Now, I don't expect my dad to take my mom to mass every Sunday or start praying a daily rosary but God is working! He is converting the hearts of those closest to me even when I did not believe he could!
The point of the story is that yes, over time there will be instances where we doubt the power of God, where we do not put all of our trust in his saving and healing love. But do not get discouraged, because when you think something is impossible or too hard or not important enough for Christ, we must remember that all things are possible for Christ. And not only that all things are possible, but nothing is too small or unimportant for him. All we need to do is put our trust in him and let him do the heavy lifting. He will surprise you just as he continually surprises me.
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