I'm beginning to type this at 9:03 PM on 9/10/14. For those of you that may not understand the significance of the time or date, 9:03 was the exact time the second plane hit the North Tower of the Twin Towers in New York City, on 9/11, and today we sit just one day from the 13th Anniversary of that fateful day. I will always remember where I was when that happened. I was sitting in Dr. J's 6th grade discovery class at Columbus Middle School. I can remember the Social Studies teacher running in to tell us what had happened, and immediately the television was turned on. Now throughout the day, some teachers watched footage while others did not. I was (or maybe was not) one of the fortunate ones to not be glued to the TV during school, but you can bet your bottom dollar that when I got home, the rest of the day was spent in front of the TV, as well as the days to come.
While it's a day I, and the rest of America, especially those who lost loved ones, will never forget, that's not what I'm blogging about today. I'm blogging about the events that occurred on 9/10/14 and why they are a complete slap in the face to those who did lose dads, moms, brothers and sisters, and friends on that day. For those of you who may not have seen, the President was on your news stations tonight. He came on to talk about ISIS or ISIL or whatever they call themselves these days. In short, they're just another one of the terrorist groups hailing from the Middle East that pose a threat to our country. They've been beheading journalists, killing Christians, and threatening anyone that comes in their way. So what was the President's response? A message to the country. While I love the fact that our government wants to connect with the people, the timing and the message were just not right.
Let's first look at the timing. The speech is on the eve of the anniversary of 9/11. I've said that already. But why is this bad? If you didn't know, this stuff has been going on for awhile (like months...). So why wait for this day to say something? Because he gets to pull on the emotional strings of the country. Everyone knows what tomorrow is, so why not be the first one to remind us in case we forgot?
And this leads into the message. Obama came on TV tonight and first reminded us that he was the one that OK'd the mission to kill Osama Bin Laden. Then he kept talking about how terrorists have no place in this world or this country, and how there is no "safe-haven" in America for those kinds of people. He continued on by saying that we were going to send air strikes and try to beat them that way without putting boots on the ground (which I am in favor of by the way). And he finished with more political jargon. So why am I upset with this?
President Obama didn't really say anything that most people didn't already know. So what's the point of going on national TV to practically say nothing? The answer is simple: politics. In the last few months or so, Obama's approval numbers haven't been great and has been the butt of jokes from the media, including those that worship him. The political impact of the Democratic Party had taken a hit. They can't have that. We have seen Romney pop up from time, whether in actual interviews or quotes from him, where he was 100% correct. The Democrats can't have that. They need a win. Tonight was that win.
The biggest Obama supporters are the low-income, low-information voters that don't have the resources (cable television) or time (because they have large families and multiple jobs) to be informed. Obama and his minions know this. It's not that difficult to figure out. So how do you reach those people? You use the news stations that everyone can see: CBS, NBC, ABC, etc... to get your mug out to the public. And instead of giving the entire country something with any substance whatsoever, he chose to give a reminder to those that are less informed. He brings up Bin Laden. That was a win for him. He talks about defending the country against terrorists with airstrikes against evil. That was a win.
But why are those wins? Bin Laden died in 2011 and was with Al Qaeda, not ISIS. And talking about air strikes? We have been doing that for the last few weeks. So I'll ask the question again. Why wait for this day? Today is one of the few days of the year that low-information voters, again some of the biggest Obama supporters around, care about politics. President Obama took the opportunity today to remind those specific people of the good thing he did in 2011, and to give them something to chew on until January which will be the next time those people care. At that time, Obama will come on again during his State of the Union address, probably remind us about Bin Laden, trash the GOP, and pump up the Democratic party to tie over those low-information voters until the attack ads start hitting the airwaves later in 2015.
Now, I know both sides of the fence play the political games and attack the other. I get it. It's a part of American politics, and it's petty. But the thing that upsets me the most is that Obama used the tragedy of 9/11 to push a political agenda. People died on those planes. People died in those buildings. People died trying to rescue those who were already dead. And what does Obama do? He uses them. He used 9/11 to get people on his side, while spitting in the faces of those that lost loved ones. That was not a win. That was an incredibly unpatriotic move and one that should not be tolerated by the citizens of this great country. We demand more. We deserve more. So the next time you think about being on that "man"'s side, remember that he doesn't care about you. He doesn't care about your family. And he doesn't care about this country. He only cares about himself.
May God bless America and may Jesus reign in our hearts.
P.S. Michelle Obama's lunches suck.
In Christ,
Josh
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
My Homage to FOCUS
Saturday I moved back to the Good Life. I put the mountains of Colorado in my rear view mirror and headed back to Nebraska. I was happy. In fact, I was downright giddy to be heading back home and to move onto the next chapter of my life. But as I drove and stared in awe at the glorious piece of land that God created, called Nebraska I got to thinking about my time with FOCUS. And while I don't have time and you don't have the patience to read a full soliloquy of thoughts from the last two years, I figured it may be best to give one last shout-out to the best 2 years of my life.
FOCUS is hard. But to quote Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in "A League of Their Own," "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great." I got tempted, pushed, stretched, knocked down, rejected, and so many other things that made the last 2 years...so incredibly awesome! Humans are creatures of habit and comfort and with FOCUS, or any other evangelical organization that actually works, you get none of that. You give up your family, friends, money, and put your future career on hold to work for the Kingdom. That's not easy.
Okay so you may be asking yourself, "Why is all of that awesome?" Here's why. I had the opportunity to do things that I never imagined possible. I went to places I had only seen in movies. And I got to converse with and build up the hearts and souls of members of what I believe is going to the be next huge generation coming through the Catholic Church. What could be better than that?! Nothing. It may seem like a simple and anti-climatic answer but it's the truth. There really is nothing better than watching young boys and girls grow into amazing men and women living their lives for God.
As I mentioned earlier, I got the opportunity to do things and go places that I never thought possible. So besides my day to day work with the guys around me, here are some of the things I did. I went on a service trip to New York City where I did a lot of painting, but I also got to hand out sandwiches to homeless people at Madison Square Garden and Grand Central Station. Being an ear or a venting station for those less fortunate was an awesome experience. And can we talk about SEEK for a second? I mean come on! 6,000 college students packing Orlando, Florida for 5 days so they can learn about the Catholic faith? Mind-blowingly awesome. Another thing that ended up being really great even though it scared me to death was bare-handed evangelization. Try walking up to someone or a group of people you don't know and strike up a conversation about God. Pretty powerful stuff. My favorite conversation by far was with Spectrum, the LGBTQA group at UNC. I was able to clear up misconceptions about the faith and our views on homosexuality and left with a mutual understanding of where both sides are on a hot-button issue.
There are a thousand other things I could write about and put down on paper, but again I will refrain. I will say though that there is one thing that I know I will never take for granted after my time with FOCUS. And that is my love of God and His Church. When I joined FOCUS, my relationship was okay. It was probably above average but not near where it is now. The two years with FOCUS trained me on how to pray, how to talk to people, and how to love. So many times we see people that don't look like us or behave the same way as us and we automatically write them off as lower than us or "different." We may have differences but the last thing that any of us are is different. I say this because at our very core we all have the same identity. We are children of God. The second we put something else in that place or take that away from anybody else, we miss the boat. Treat your brothers and sisters like so. Like brothers and sisters. That is what FOCUS taught me. And that is something that I will never forget.
So I finish up with a little PSA, and this is for anybody who wants to make something of their lives. If you have been approached or even if you haven't, consider applying for a position with FOCUS. Guys, I'm calling you out in particular. Our world needs men not just of faith, but of action. You can go to church every Sunday and sit in an empty pew, or you can go out and fill those pews. It really is your choice. And if you choose to decide for the latter, go learn how through FOCUS. You will get the best training and receive the best skills for that particular purpose. But remember that it's not about numbers, but about souls. We don't fill the pews to cure our loneliness. We do it so people can get to Heaven! So give it a shot. I know that after two years, I don't regret a second of it. Neither will you.
1Cor 10:13
In Christ,
Josh
FOCUS is hard. But to quote Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in "A League of Their Own," "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great." I got tempted, pushed, stretched, knocked down, rejected, and so many other things that made the last 2 years...so incredibly awesome! Humans are creatures of habit and comfort and with FOCUS, or any other evangelical organization that actually works, you get none of that. You give up your family, friends, money, and put your future career on hold to work for the Kingdom. That's not easy.
Okay so you may be asking yourself, "Why is all of that awesome?" Here's why. I had the opportunity to do things that I never imagined possible. I went to places I had only seen in movies. And I got to converse with and build up the hearts and souls of members of what I believe is going to the be next huge generation coming through the Catholic Church. What could be better than that?! Nothing. It may seem like a simple and anti-climatic answer but it's the truth. There really is nothing better than watching young boys and girls grow into amazing men and women living their lives for God.
As I mentioned earlier, I got the opportunity to do things and go places that I never thought possible. So besides my day to day work with the guys around me, here are some of the things I did. I went on a service trip to New York City where I did a lot of painting, but I also got to hand out sandwiches to homeless people at Madison Square Garden and Grand Central Station. Being an ear or a venting station for those less fortunate was an awesome experience. And can we talk about SEEK for a second? I mean come on! 6,000 college students packing Orlando, Florida for 5 days so they can learn about the Catholic faith? Mind-blowingly awesome. Another thing that ended up being really great even though it scared me to death was bare-handed evangelization. Try walking up to someone or a group of people you don't know and strike up a conversation about God. Pretty powerful stuff. My favorite conversation by far was with Spectrum, the LGBTQA group at UNC. I was able to clear up misconceptions about the faith and our views on homosexuality and left with a mutual understanding of where both sides are on a hot-button issue.
There are a thousand other things I could write about and put down on paper, but again I will refrain. I will say though that there is one thing that I know I will never take for granted after my time with FOCUS. And that is my love of God and His Church. When I joined FOCUS, my relationship was okay. It was probably above average but not near where it is now. The two years with FOCUS trained me on how to pray, how to talk to people, and how to love. So many times we see people that don't look like us or behave the same way as us and we automatically write them off as lower than us or "different." We may have differences but the last thing that any of us are is different. I say this because at our very core we all have the same identity. We are children of God. The second we put something else in that place or take that away from anybody else, we miss the boat. Treat your brothers and sisters like so. Like brothers and sisters. That is what FOCUS taught me. And that is something that I will never forget.
1Cor 10:13
In Christ,
Josh
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Holy Week and You
For those of you that are Catholic and have been living under a rock lately, it's Holy Week! In just a few days our Lord will once again die and rise for our sins. It is so amazing that Jesus loves us so much and gets to pour that out this week through His death and resurrection, but if you don't give some of it back this week, you're missing the point. We have to take advantage of this opportunity.
To be honest, this is really the first time I've taken Holy Week seriously. I mean I would go to Easter Mass and maybe attend a Good Friday service or something, but it was just another week. Luckily, I have a priest here at UNC that doesn't stand for that. On his Monday homily at mass, he challenged us to really dive into Holy Week. So I did. And I am going to pose the same challenge to you. Here is why.
I've been spending some extra time in prayer throughout the week just mediating on the day. For example, just imagine what it would have been like Wednesday night. Only two people knew what was going to happen just 24 hours from that moment; Jesus and Judas. The other 11 didn't know. Mary didn't know. They were just living life knowing something awesome was about to happen at Passover, but having no idea what was in front of them in just one short day. Or spend some time in the chapel on Good Friday without Jesus there. You can feel it. That feeling that comes with Jesus being in the chapel or on the altar that we take for granted so often is gone. And it sucks.
Holy Week is purifying. It's a week in which we truly get to love Jesus and understand the weight of all that He took on. He didn't sweat blood in the garden because it was really hot, but because the weight of every sin the entire world committed was causing Him so much agony that the emotional distress was too much for His body to handle. Father Matt was talking about this last night during a talk about the Shroud of Turin (disclaimer: if you don't know what the Shroud is...google it) but he mentioned that when your body sweats blood like that, it actually leaves a bruise all over your body. Imagine taking that into the scourging that was next up...yeah. And all of this was for you. You. Jesus saw your face up there on that cross.
So what does this all mean? It means that JESUS LOVES YOU! He loves you all the way to calvary. He has given you a chance at eternal life and you can't let that just fly by. So here is the challenge for the rest of the week. You may have had a rough lent or maybe have not done anything special during Holy Week but there is still time. Take the next few days and give Jesus your biggest problem. Maybe it's a sin. Maybe it's a worry. Maybe it's a relationship. Give that to Jesus and watch what happens. In today's Gospel Jesus reads a passage from Isaiah and tells us that He is going to release the captives, give sight to the blind, and set free those who are oppressed. Those are some pretty large claims. But if you believe and trust that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead 3 days later, why can't you trust that Jesus can heal the sick? Why can't you trust that He can free you from that sin or heal that relationship? All I ask is that you give it to Him this week and watch. Jesus will come through for you.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
The Fatherly Love of God
I try and always get these things out on Monday. You know. It the start of a new week. You're still fresh. Yeah it's Monday, but the rigors of the week haven't bogged you down yet. Well today is Thursday and I'm just now getting to this. And for all of you that are calling lazy it wasn't because of that. I just did not have any material/the material I did have was just a little too personal for this venue (and to those of you that actually read this on a weekly basis, you know how personal I can get). Anyway, today I just wanted to put my prayer from today out there and maybe it'll help you with anything you're struggling with.
We call God, Father. He is our dad. He raises us up. He teaches us. He gives us all the things our biological fathers would give us times infinity. Okay, but do you ever feel like he's not all of that? I know I do. In fact, I probably do it more times than I'm proud of. Anyway, today I was praying with Hosea 11:1-9 and was again reminded why we call God our father.
The passage in Hosea is like a monologue from God about how he raised Israel up from nothing and every time He tried to get closer, Israel ran way. "Yet, though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know that I was their healer" (Hosea 11:4). You can just see how much that would hurt God. I mean, the children that he raised don't want Him anymore. That has to be hard. However, if you read on, you see that God is actually moved to compassion and pity, and desires not to destroy the tribe, even though they may deserve it.
So how did this effect me? The imaginative state I was in was pretty darn cool. The guys reading this will understand when I say God had placed me in this old school film room, like one you would see in an old sports movie. I was watching something being projected onto the screen, and I was actually using one of the old school projectors as well. I realized that what I was watching were moments from my youth. I remember seeing me at my high chair eating, walking for the first time, riding a bike, and even playing baseball. And in all of these little clips, there was this guy there. It wasn't my actual dad though. It was like everything had a 50's era black and white feel and the guy in the videos looked like the dad from "Leave it to Beaver."
I thought this was interesting in the sense that when I kept going through the clips and getting older, that guy disappeared. I got to clips that weren't so happy; shots of me partying at a young age, trying to pick up girls to take home, and a number of things I was not happy with. This was when I realized that Beaver's dad was the representation of God that my mind had made up. And from the outside, it can look like God had left me during those times, but that was not true. God never left me. I just stopped letting him in. Like the Israelites, when God tried to get close, I just ran to the next idol in my life.
The love of God is unconditional, and the love of God is constant. It's up to us to let that be true. We have to trust Him in that way. For me, that can be really tough. I fail. I mess up. I am not even close to being perfect. None of us are. But that doesn't mean we can get down on ourselves. Say you're a guy (or girl) and struggling with a sexual sin. You go two weeks and everything is great and then in a stroke of pure weakness you fall. What do you do now? Do you get down? Do you beat yourself up? No! You can't. God doesn't do that so what gives you the right to do it to yourself? I'll paraphrase something I saw from Catholic speaker, writer, and overall awesome dude Matt Fradd when he said of pornography addiction that we cannot mistake little progress for no progress. Rejoice over little victories in whatever sin you may be trying to rid from your life. God does!
So what's the point of the story? The point is to remember that you are human and God is not. You will mess up. God won't. And He understands that. He gets it, and because He gets it, He is not going to rain down fire and brimstone every time you fall. Find great peace in that. God is so forgiving and so awesome and sometimes we forget that. So the next time you feel like God is distant or is punishing you in any way, remember these words from Hosea 11:9, "I will not give vent to my blazing anger...For I am God and not man, the Holy One present among you; I will not let the flames consume you." Have a great day and may God bless you.
In Christ,
Josh
We call God, Father. He is our dad. He raises us up. He teaches us. He gives us all the things our biological fathers would give us times infinity. Okay, but do you ever feel like he's not all of that? I know I do. In fact, I probably do it more times than I'm proud of. Anyway, today I was praying with Hosea 11:1-9 and was again reminded why we call God our father.
The passage in Hosea is like a monologue from God about how he raised Israel up from nothing and every time He tried to get closer, Israel ran way. "Yet, though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know that I was their healer" (Hosea 11:4). You can just see how much that would hurt God. I mean, the children that he raised don't want Him anymore. That has to be hard. However, if you read on, you see that God is actually moved to compassion and pity, and desires not to destroy the tribe, even though they may deserve it.
So how did this effect me? The imaginative state I was in was pretty darn cool. The guys reading this will understand when I say God had placed me in this old school film room, like one you would see in an old sports movie. I was watching something being projected onto the screen, and I was actually using one of the old school projectors as well. I realized that what I was watching were moments from my youth. I remember seeing me at my high chair eating, walking for the first time, riding a bike, and even playing baseball. And in all of these little clips, there was this guy there. It wasn't my actual dad though. It was like everything had a 50's era black and white feel and the guy in the videos looked like the dad from "Leave it to Beaver."
I thought this was interesting in the sense that when I kept going through the clips and getting older, that guy disappeared. I got to clips that weren't so happy; shots of me partying at a young age, trying to pick up girls to take home, and a number of things I was not happy with. This was when I realized that Beaver's dad was the representation of God that my mind had made up. And from the outside, it can look like God had left me during those times, but that was not true. God never left me. I just stopped letting him in. Like the Israelites, when God tried to get close, I just ran to the next idol in my life.
The love of God is unconditional, and the love of God is constant. It's up to us to let that be true. We have to trust Him in that way. For me, that can be really tough. I fail. I mess up. I am not even close to being perfect. None of us are. But that doesn't mean we can get down on ourselves. Say you're a guy (or girl) and struggling with a sexual sin. You go two weeks and everything is great and then in a stroke of pure weakness you fall. What do you do now? Do you get down? Do you beat yourself up? No! You can't. God doesn't do that so what gives you the right to do it to yourself? I'll paraphrase something I saw from Catholic speaker, writer, and overall awesome dude Matt Fradd when he said of pornography addiction that we cannot mistake little progress for no progress. Rejoice over little victories in whatever sin you may be trying to rid from your life. God does!
So what's the point of the story? The point is to remember that you are human and God is not. You will mess up. God won't. And He understands that. He gets it, and because He gets it, He is not going to rain down fire and brimstone every time you fall. Find great peace in that. God is so forgiving and so awesome and sometimes we forget that. So the next time you feel like God is distant or is punishing you in any way, remember these words from Hosea 11:9, "I will not give vent to my blazing anger...For I am God and not man, the Holy One present among you; I will not let the flames consume you." Have a great day and may God bless you.
In Christ,
Josh
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Closing One Door. Opening Another
2014. A new year. A new semester. Okay great. What does that matter to me? I've never been a big New Year's resolution type guy, and I don't think that I have the personal will power to follow through with something I don't really want to do for a whole year (in fact, that sounds awful). However, I am game for making myself a better person and a better Catholic, and in 2014 that is my plan.
Hold on Josh. Aren't we all supposed to be building a better relationship with God all the time? Why is this all of the sudden some huge undertaking? Good question. As Christians, we should always be striving toward holiness and a better relationship with Our Creator. But guess what? It's really hard. I can remember having my conversion back to the church, my 4:00 moment, and for the first few months, everything was awesome! I was in that Honeymoon stage with God and anyone that has had a profound experience that led to this kind of conversion of heart knows exactly what I'm talking about. Too bad it doesn't last forever.
Like any relationship, the honeymoon stage wears away. The girl now feels fine wearing sweats on a daily basis and the guy now doesn't fear letting out a big belch around the girlfriend but now welcomes it just to see how many decibels he can register. It's the same with God...except without the belching. The fire or good feelings that come with that new relationship with God will eventually go away. Personally, I didn't see this coming and it took me way off guard. All of the sudden, things got really hard. Sin started looking really attractive. Evangelization seemed like a worthless practice at times, and apathy started to grow like moss on an old tree. All of this led to 2013 being a very tough year.
But before I continue, I do want to state that 2013 was a good year too. I finished my first year as a missionary. I moved to colorful Colorado. I met my beautiful and amazing girlfriend. I allowed myself to get super vulnerable with anyone that reads this blog. I had a lot of fun and did a lot of things that I will remember for a long time, but looking back, I can honestly say that spiritually, my year was not one of progress but of regression. All this sort of came to a head at FOCUS' Student Leadership Summit in Dallas at the beginning of this new year. I was praying and thinking about taking FOCUS into a parish next fall when I leave staff and how that would look. Then Jesus stopped me right in my tracks. He asked me a profound question that may become the question I try and answer the rest of the year. "How do you expect to help transform a parish when you can't even transform your own heart?" Woof! Jesus totally put me in my place. I was a little hurt by it. I didn't even know how to respond. But thanks to my buddy Steven, I was reminded again that Jesus asked this not because he dislikes me...but because He is on my side.
God has big plans in store for my life. As a high schooler, I thought being this awesome teacher and helping all these students out for fifty years was everything, that it would completely fulfill my life. It won't. It's not even close. I mean yeah, educating students is something that I am really excited to do, but it's not the end of it all. God has so much planned for me and I know that putting butts in the seats of whatever parish I join is a part of that plan. But Jesus totally reminded me that before I can do that, I have to get myself striving for holiness in every way before I can ever be successful in that particular endeavor. And what's most awesome is that Jesus is on my side. He wants to help me out. He wants to lead me to that place. Heck, He wants that relationship more than I do!
I hope 2014 is a better year. I've been back to the church for three years now (actually, today, January 14th is the 3 year anniversary of me getting on that bus headed to Denver where my life would be changed forever) and 2013 was probably the hardest of those three years. But I'm optimistic. I'm excited because I know that I have specific things that I get to work on for the next twelve months.
There is a challenge in front of me. It looks like a big mountain and the terrain is tough. But with God's help I know I can climb this mountain and plant my flag at the next summit of my personal holiness. I'm sure that on the way I will stumble and fall and may even think about giving up. But all smart climbers bring things to keep them safe; things to keep the outside influencers at bay. And for me and my mountain, my safety is God. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 says "...the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one." God will protect me. This I know. I knew it last year. The trick this year is trusting. If I trust the things that God wants to tell me, 2014 may just be the best year I've had so far.
In Christ,
Josh
Hold on Josh. Aren't we all supposed to be building a better relationship with God all the time? Why is this all of the sudden some huge undertaking? Good question. As Christians, we should always be striving toward holiness and a better relationship with Our Creator. But guess what? It's really hard. I can remember having my conversion back to the church, my 4:00 moment, and for the first few months, everything was awesome! I was in that Honeymoon stage with God and anyone that has had a profound experience that led to this kind of conversion of heart knows exactly what I'm talking about. Too bad it doesn't last forever.
Like any relationship, the honeymoon stage wears away. The girl now feels fine wearing sweats on a daily basis and the guy now doesn't fear letting out a big belch around the girlfriend but now welcomes it just to see how many decibels he can register. It's the same with God...except without the belching. The fire or good feelings that come with that new relationship with God will eventually go away. Personally, I didn't see this coming and it took me way off guard. All of the sudden, things got really hard. Sin started looking really attractive. Evangelization seemed like a worthless practice at times, and apathy started to grow like moss on an old tree. All of this led to 2013 being a very tough year.
But before I continue, I do want to state that 2013 was a good year too. I finished my first year as a missionary. I moved to colorful Colorado. I met my beautiful and amazing girlfriend. I allowed myself to get super vulnerable with anyone that reads this blog. I had a lot of fun and did a lot of things that I will remember for a long time, but looking back, I can honestly say that spiritually, my year was not one of progress but of regression. All this sort of came to a head at FOCUS' Student Leadership Summit in Dallas at the beginning of this new year. I was praying and thinking about taking FOCUS into a parish next fall when I leave staff and how that would look. Then Jesus stopped me right in my tracks. He asked me a profound question that may become the question I try and answer the rest of the year. "How do you expect to help transform a parish when you can't even transform your own heart?" Woof! Jesus totally put me in my place. I was a little hurt by it. I didn't even know how to respond. But thanks to my buddy Steven, I was reminded again that Jesus asked this not because he dislikes me...but because He is on my side.
God has big plans in store for my life. As a high schooler, I thought being this awesome teacher and helping all these students out for fifty years was everything, that it would completely fulfill my life. It won't. It's not even close. I mean yeah, educating students is something that I am really excited to do, but it's not the end of it all. God has so much planned for me and I know that putting butts in the seats of whatever parish I join is a part of that plan. But Jesus totally reminded me that before I can do that, I have to get myself striving for holiness in every way before I can ever be successful in that particular endeavor. And what's most awesome is that Jesus is on my side. He wants to help me out. He wants to lead me to that place. Heck, He wants that relationship more than I do!
I hope 2014 is a better year. I've been back to the church for three years now (actually, today, January 14th is the 3 year anniversary of me getting on that bus headed to Denver where my life would be changed forever) and 2013 was probably the hardest of those three years. But I'm optimistic. I'm excited because I know that I have specific things that I get to work on for the next twelve months.
There is a challenge in front of me. It looks like a big mountain and the terrain is tough. But with God's help I know I can climb this mountain and plant my flag at the next summit of my personal holiness. I'm sure that on the way I will stumble and fall and may even think about giving up. But all smart climbers bring things to keep them safe; things to keep the outside influencers at bay. And for me and my mountain, my safety is God. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 says "...the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one." God will protect me. This I know. I knew it last year. The trick this year is trusting. If I trust the things that God wants to tell me, 2014 may just be the best year I've had so far.
In Christ,
Josh
Monday, December 2, 2013
Advent is Here. Now What?
It's Advent. So, I think by the Catechism I'm obliged to make my first post of the holiday season about said holiday season (not really, but it seems fitting right?). Anyway, Advent is the 4 weeks leading up to Christmas and birth of Jesus. Great. What does it mean? I mean, we all know what Lent is. We spend 40 days praying, fasting, and giving alms. We are preparing ourselves for the death on Good Friday and the Resurrection on Easter Sunday. We don't sing the alleluia or the gloria. It's a somber time for the church. I get it. But Advent? What do we do? How do we celebrate? I don't know what to do with my hands.
The reason I ask the question is because I didn't grow up in a home that celebrated Advent. Heck, we barely observed Lent, only giving up meat on Friday because, you know, it's what you did...even though we never went to mass. But dog gone it, don't you dare eat that hot dog! (It wasn't really like that. My parents are awesome). But going back to the point, I have never grown up knowing what to do during Advent. All I ever knew was to just try and be as patient as I could before Christmas Eve when I could tear into the mountain of presents that I probably didn't deserve anyway. I did some research and here is my take on Advent.
And what I got was this, "Celebrating Advent typically involves a season of prayer, fasting and repentance..." Wait a minute, isn't that Lent? Advent compares to Lent in the sense that it is a preparatory period. In both seasons, we make a stronger effort for prayer, fasting, and alms giving or repentance. In both seasons, we wait...and we wait...and we wait some more. What's the difference?
Here is the difference, and we have to finish reading the quote to get the whole picture. The sentence finishes "followed by anticipation, hope and joy." I think I get it now. So in Lent we wait all this time without the alleluia, without the gloria, in a time of sadness because we know what comes first...Good Friday, the brutal and humiliating death of Christ. Yeah, we get Easter Sunday a few days later, but we don't have the rising of Christ without His death. We don't get the good without the bad. It's not like that in Advent. In Advent, we wait patiently for only the good. There is no death before the birth of Christ. In fact, in Scripture, you get another birth (John the Baptist) before Jesus, which is great!
So what's the point? Why am I spending time writing about this when the similarities between Lent and Advent are numerous? It's because of the one difference. Jesus is coming! Be happy! When you put that extra 20 minutes into prayer, or give up that mid-day snack, don't do it with a scowl on your face. Do it with a smile and do it with love because the Good Lord is coming and he does not want to see you sad. Jesus wants to see you happy. Like He said in John 10:10, "I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly." The things that will give you that abundance of life are the very things that we are asked to do during Advent. So perk up and be happy doing it. Your friend is about to come home.
The reason I ask the question is because I didn't grow up in a home that celebrated Advent. Heck, we barely observed Lent, only giving up meat on Friday because, you know, it's what you did...even though we never went to mass. But dog gone it, don't you dare eat that hot dog! (It wasn't really like that. My parents are awesome). But going back to the point, I have never grown up knowing what to do during Advent. All I ever knew was to just try and be as patient as I could before Christmas Eve when I could tear into the mountain of presents that I probably didn't deserve anyway. I did some research and here is my take on Advent.
And what I got was this, "Celebrating Advent typically involves a season of prayer, fasting and repentance..." Wait a minute, isn't that Lent? Advent compares to Lent in the sense that it is a preparatory period. In both seasons, we make a stronger effort for prayer, fasting, and alms giving or repentance. In both seasons, we wait...and we wait...and we wait some more. What's the difference?
Here is the difference, and we have to finish reading the quote to get the whole picture. The sentence finishes "followed by anticipation, hope and joy." I think I get it now. So in Lent we wait all this time without the alleluia, without the gloria, in a time of sadness because we know what comes first...Good Friday, the brutal and humiliating death of Christ. Yeah, we get Easter Sunday a few days later, but we don't have the rising of Christ without His death. We don't get the good without the bad. It's not like that in Advent. In Advent, we wait patiently for only the good. There is no death before the birth of Christ. In fact, in Scripture, you get another birth (John the Baptist) before Jesus, which is great!
So what's the point? Why am I spending time writing about this when the similarities between Lent and Advent are numerous? It's because of the one difference. Jesus is coming! Be happy! When you put that extra 20 minutes into prayer, or give up that mid-day snack, don't do it with a scowl on your face. Do it with a smile and do it with love because the Good Lord is coming and he does not want to see you sad. Jesus wants to see you happy. Like He said in John 10:10, "I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly." The things that will give you that abundance of life are the very things that we are asked to do during Advent. So perk up and be happy doing it. Your friend is about to come home.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
I am Pleased with You, My Child
So yesterday was not a great day. I got home from a two day training session in Denver that was less than relaxing only to know that I had 2 hours to prep for a Bible study and to make fundraising phone calls. The calls actually went well. I made a few more bucks and I got prepped for study (which I was super excited for). Then the first of two studies that night got cancelled. Great. Then I go to the study I lead only to have 2 people show up, 1 of them being super late, when expecting 7. I left there completely heart-broken and crushed. I had put all this work into growing this study only to have to cancel.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep much last night. I made a 11:30 PM run to the chapel to get all my frustrations out just wondering what more I could do, and searching for what more I could give. I was up all night tossing and turning, racking my brain for the best way to get to these guys without completely killing myself. I finally did fall asleep around 1, and when I woke up this morning, I still felt totally empty inside, like I had failed so badly to a point where I would never be able to get back up.
Then Jesus played the Jesus card and totally blew me away. I shouldn't be surprised right? I mean, Jesus is Jesus. He can do whatever he wants. Yeah, that had slipped my mind in the last 12 hours. For the longest time, trusting in God has always been a roller coaster ride for me. Some days, weeks, and months are great, but others aren't. And while, for the most part, I can always look to God to take care of things, I never expected what he was going to do for me this morning. One of my mission partners gave me this book. Some of you may have it. It's called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. It's a 365 day devotional with a paragraph or two each day to help you have a conversation with God. Here is the entry from today, November 20th...
Woof. I was on the verge of the tears after the first sentence. I stopped and thought back to a time last year when I was feeling the same way, and Jesus gave me Matthew 3:17 to ponder over. Check it out. It's pretty good. But this reflection totally changed my day. The Holy Spirit put it on my heart to try again with the study. I sent a text to all my guys telling them that we were going to try again tonight, and the response has been great.
So what's the point of this? The point is that Jesus is always going to take care of you. He doesn't care how big your discipleship chain is. He doesn't care how many people are in your Bible study. He cares about you and He knows that you're trying. Jesus knows you are working your tail off trying to reach these men women and when a student chooses something else over study, He sees that. He loves you anyway and He is so proud of you for working as hard as you can. Your worth is not in numbers. Your worth is not in your successes. Your worth comes from being a son or daughter of God. Don't forget that. Jesus certainly doesn't.
In Christ,
Josh
Needless to say, I didn't sleep much last night. I made a 11:30 PM run to the chapel to get all my frustrations out just wondering what more I could do, and searching for what more I could give. I was up all night tossing and turning, racking my brain for the best way to get to these guys without completely killing myself. I finally did fall asleep around 1, and when I woke up this morning, I still felt totally empty inside, like I had failed so badly to a point where I would never be able to get back up.
Then Jesus played the Jesus card and totally blew me away. I shouldn't be surprised right? I mean, Jesus is Jesus. He can do whatever he wants. Yeah, that had slipped my mind in the last 12 hours. For the longest time, trusting in God has always been a roller coaster ride for me. Some days, weeks, and months are great, but others aren't. And while, for the most part, I can always look to God to take care of things, I never expected what he was going to do for me this morning. One of my mission partners gave me this book. Some of you may have it. It's called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. It's a 365 day devotional with a paragraph or two each day to help you have a conversation with God. Here is the entry from today, November 20th...
"I am pleased with you, my child. Allow yourself to become fully aware of My pleasure shining upon you. You don't have to perform well in order to receive My Love. In fact, a performance focus will put you away from Me, toward some sort of Pharisaism. This can be a subtle form of idolatry: worshiping your own good works. It can also be a source of deep discouragement when your works don't measure up to your expectations. Shift your focus from your performance to My radiant Presence. The Light of My Love shines on you continually, regardless of your feelings or behavior. Your responsibility is to be receptive to this unconditional Love. Thankfulness and trust are your primary receptors. Thank Me for everything; trusting in Me at all times. These simple disciplines will keep you open to my loving Presence."
Woof. I was on the verge of the tears after the first sentence. I stopped and thought back to a time last year when I was feeling the same way, and Jesus gave me Matthew 3:17 to ponder over. Check it out. It's pretty good. But this reflection totally changed my day. The Holy Spirit put it on my heart to try again with the study. I sent a text to all my guys telling them that we were going to try again tonight, and the response has been great.
So what's the point of this? The point is that Jesus is always going to take care of you. He doesn't care how big your discipleship chain is. He doesn't care how many people are in your Bible study. He cares about you and He knows that you're trying. Jesus knows you are working your tail off trying to reach these men women and when a student chooses something else over study, He sees that. He loves you anyway and He is so proud of you for working as hard as you can. Your worth is not in numbers. Your worth is not in your successes. Your worth comes from being a son or daughter of God. Don't forget that. Jesus certainly doesn't.
In Christ,
Josh
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Retreat Weekend
Retreats. I have a very love/hate relationship with them. I hate them leading up to the actual weekend, and then when I leave, I am on a high that I haven't experienced since the last retreat that I attended. Lo and behold it happened again last weekend, and I think this retreat is the beginning of a change in attitude.
Bear Awakening. UNC holds this retreat once a semester, and was originally slated for early October, but the Colorado floods forced us to postpone it until November. To be honest, I did not want to staff this retreat. I was bitter leading up to it, and when it got postponed, I was even more upset with the fact that I didn't get a chance to get it out of the way. A ton of prep work and time out of an already busy schedule did not make for a happy Josh.
Then the weekend came. And it was awesome. I had never been on a retreat like this in all my life, and I was blown away. The retreat, nicknamed BA, was student led all the way from the coordinators to the staffers. The students gave the talks. The students led discussions. The students did skits. The students prayed their tails off. I was incredibly impressed (shout out here to Jackson and Katie for coordinating this whole thing).
So why was I so blown away and why is my attitude changing? One word: God. God was so present over the weekend and the Holy Spirit, in particular, was dropping some major grace bombs throughout the weekend. It started off poorly with retreaters getting lost and showing up late to the vast empty space of Wyoming, and some of the guys at my table just did not want to be there and that was very obvious. One guy was super pissed at God and another was just mad at everything. The other guys in my group...just wouldn't talk.
Then Saturday came. The men started to open up and share their lives with the rest of the table, and the emotions started pouring out. Tears during talks. Great discussions with the table. Then it was time for adoration. Jesus up there on the altar just pouring out His love for all of us there was incredible. Watching people cry their eyes out not just in sadness, but in happiness as they rejoiced at the outpouring of love from God and their brothers and sisters with them. The emotional roller coaster had started and was not ending any time soon.
Sunday was a continuation of the graces. Jesus was loving on all of us so much and everyone was just so thankful for the time they spent and the sacrifices made to make the weekend amazing. The retreat was a major success. But why was it so good for me? I wasn't actually on the retreat, just staffing. I had already heard the talks and knew the questions to ask. I knew what was coming and there were no surprises.
This is why it was awesome. I got to spend my time just loving on my brothers. The five guys in my family needed to be loved and I did that. I can remember going into adoration trying to pray for some of the things on my mind, but it was very apparent to me that I needed to be spending my time doing something else: praying for my brothers and sisters. I spent the next hour and a half praying over the guys in my family, my teammates, and some of the guys I see on a daily basis. I cried. They cried. Amazing.
Retreats. I'm beginning to love them. It's a large sacrifice to make, especially when you are working on one, but the reward is so great. I saw Jesus work through these students in ways that I never expected, and once again, He blew me away. So my one word of advice if you are reading this is to go on a retreat. It may be a sacrifice and it may be tough to make it work, but it will be so rewarding if you open your heart to Jesus. Go. You won't regret it.
In Christ,
Josh
Bear Awakening. UNC holds this retreat once a semester, and was originally slated for early October, but the Colorado floods forced us to postpone it until November. To be honest, I did not want to staff this retreat. I was bitter leading up to it, and when it got postponed, I was even more upset with the fact that I didn't get a chance to get it out of the way. A ton of prep work and time out of an already busy schedule did not make for a happy Josh.
Then the weekend came. And it was awesome. I had never been on a retreat like this in all my life, and I was blown away. The retreat, nicknamed BA, was student led all the way from the coordinators to the staffers. The students gave the talks. The students led discussions. The students did skits. The students prayed their tails off. I was incredibly impressed (shout out here to Jackson and Katie for coordinating this whole thing).
So why was I so blown away and why is my attitude changing? One word: God. God was so present over the weekend and the Holy Spirit, in particular, was dropping some major grace bombs throughout the weekend. It started off poorly with retreaters getting lost and showing up late to the vast empty space of Wyoming, and some of the guys at my table just did not want to be there and that was very obvious. One guy was super pissed at God and another was just mad at everything. The other guys in my group...just wouldn't talk.
Then Saturday came. The men started to open up and share their lives with the rest of the table, and the emotions started pouring out. Tears during talks. Great discussions with the table. Then it was time for adoration. Jesus up there on the altar just pouring out His love for all of us there was incredible. Watching people cry their eyes out not just in sadness, but in happiness as they rejoiced at the outpouring of love from God and their brothers and sisters with them. The emotional roller coaster had started and was not ending any time soon.
Sunday was a continuation of the graces. Jesus was loving on all of us so much and everyone was just so thankful for the time they spent and the sacrifices made to make the weekend amazing. The retreat was a major success. But why was it so good for me? I wasn't actually on the retreat, just staffing. I had already heard the talks and knew the questions to ask. I knew what was coming and there were no surprises.
This is why it was awesome. I got to spend my time just loving on my brothers. The five guys in my family needed to be loved and I did that. I can remember going into adoration trying to pray for some of the things on my mind, but it was very apparent to me that I needed to be spending my time doing something else: praying for my brothers and sisters. I spent the next hour and a half praying over the guys in my family, my teammates, and some of the guys I see on a daily basis. I cried. They cried. Amazing.
Retreats. I'm beginning to love them. It's a large sacrifice to make, especially when you are working on one, but the reward is so great. I saw Jesus work through these students in ways that I never expected, and once again, He blew me away. So my one word of advice if you are reading this is to go on a retreat. It may be a sacrifice and it may be tough to make it work, but it will be so rewarding if you open your heart to Jesus. Go. You won't regret it.
In Christ,
Josh
Monday, November 4, 2013
Getting Distract...Wait What's That Over There???
It's 2013. Distractions are everywhere. It could be the latest new phone or tablet, music, sports, or the policies of a president that doesn't know his head from his ass (This reminds me of the scene from "A League of Their Own" when Tom Hanks is chewing out a player in the dugout and asks her where her head is, and then he answers his own question with "It's that lump that's three feet above your ass!" Makes me laugh every time. Ah good times). Anyway, there are a lot of things that can grab our attention and take us away from, or dare I say it, lead us closer to God. That may seem strange but let me explain.
So first, let's talk about how we let distractions get in our way. There are millions of things going on around us at all times. We have jobs, school, families, entertainment, politics, and a bunch of other things that vie for our attention. And none of these things are in and of themselves bad. You want to watch a movie or read the paper...great. But it's when we let these things take away from our prayer and our duties as Christians that hurt us. If we are not spending quality and quantity time in prayer, and let these other things dictate how we spend our time, then we are doing a disservice to God and to our relationship with Him.
But you know this. Anybody that has ever tried to put in a holy hour knows all about distractions and the difficulties of focusing on prayer. Let's talk about what to do with those distractions. The first is a distraction that is not of God. So say you're praying with Scripture and focusing in on the sermon on the mount and all of the sudden you start thinking about lunch in an hour or have this vivid vision of the Stay Puft marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. Yeah, probably not from God. What you have to do at this point is ask God for the grace to take away the distraction so that you can turn your attention back to the passage and refocus on prayer.
But what about other distractions? For example, I was reading this reflection this morning and it had to do with remaining in the presence of God throughout the week and trusting in Him to navigate everything that is going on. Great! However, I could not take my mind off Courtney. See, we are starting to heavily discern our vocations and seeing if we are in the right place for the long haul, and when to get the ball rolling on an engagement and everything else that is involved (WOOF!!!). I had already spent some time praying on this earlier, but it just kept coming up and I was being "distracted."
This is what we call a good distraction. God was placing this huge thing on my mind for a reason. I tried fighting it off time and time again, but it kept popping up. I have been told before that if something comes into your head three times during a holy hour, God probably wants you to pray on it. In this case, Jesus was seeking out the greater good. Yes, praying about staying in His presence is great, but Jesus wanted me to focus my attention on another thing, and that was this discernment process. This is just another example of the greatness of God. I was trying to pray and focus on the relationship with Him, and He would rather have me thinking about Courtney and our relationship so that I could even more give it back to Him. What a guy!
So to sum up, distractions are everywhere. Some are good (discerning a vocation) and some are bad (worrying about the incompetence of our lousy president). The trick is making sure you can distinguish between the two, and then following the greater good. And don't get discouraged when you feel distracted and find it difficult to focus. Jesus is allowing this to build you up. If you can get over this hurdle, then Jesus will trust you with more and that's a great thing. Trust that God knows what He is doing because you know...He's God.
In Christ,
Josh
So first, let's talk about how we let distractions get in our way. There are millions of things going on around us at all times. We have jobs, school, families, entertainment, politics, and a bunch of other things that vie for our attention. And none of these things are in and of themselves bad. You want to watch a movie or read the paper...great. But it's when we let these things take away from our prayer and our duties as Christians that hurt us. If we are not spending quality and quantity time in prayer, and let these other things dictate how we spend our time, then we are doing a disservice to God and to our relationship with Him.
But you know this. Anybody that has ever tried to put in a holy hour knows all about distractions and the difficulties of focusing on prayer. Let's talk about what to do with those distractions. The first is a distraction that is not of God. So say you're praying with Scripture and focusing in on the sermon on the mount and all of the sudden you start thinking about lunch in an hour or have this vivid vision of the Stay Puft marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. Yeah, probably not from God. What you have to do at this point is ask God for the grace to take away the distraction so that you can turn your attention back to the passage and refocus on prayer.
But what about other distractions? For example, I was reading this reflection this morning and it had to do with remaining in the presence of God throughout the week and trusting in Him to navigate everything that is going on. Great! However, I could not take my mind off Courtney. See, we are starting to heavily discern our vocations and seeing if we are in the right place for the long haul, and when to get the ball rolling on an engagement and everything else that is involved (WOOF!!!). I had already spent some time praying on this earlier, but it just kept coming up and I was being "distracted."
This is what we call a good distraction. God was placing this huge thing on my mind for a reason. I tried fighting it off time and time again, but it kept popping up. I have been told before that if something comes into your head three times during a holy hour, God probably wants you to pray on it. In this case, Jesus was seeking out the greater good. Yes, praying about staying in His presence is great, but Jesus wanted me to focus my attention on another thing, and that was this discernment process. This is just another example of the greatness of God. I was trying to pray and focus on the relationship with Him, and He would rather have me thinking about Courtney and our relationship so that I could even more give it back to Him. What a guy!
So to sum up, distractions are everywhere. Some are good (discerning a vocation) and some are bad (worrying about the incompetence of our lousy president). The trick is making sure you can distinguish between the two, and then following the greater good. And don't get discouraged when you feel distracted and find it difficult to focus. Jesus is allowing this to build you up. If you can get over this hurdle, then Jesus will trust you with more and that's a great thing. Trust that God knows what He is doing because you know...He's God.
In Christ,
Josh
Monday, October 28, 2013
Tearing Down Walls
Ever since I began this blog, it has always been for me. I don't spend time in prayer journaling, so this is my opportunity to get things out that I tend to hold in, or just speak to what's on my mind. I know some of you look forward to it, and read it pretty often and for that I thank you. It's so awesome that my thoughts and words can be even the least bit inspirational to one person. It really means a ton. However, like I said before, this is for me, and that's why today, I'm getting a little bit vulnerable.
A week ago, I had an awesome conversation with my old team director and part of the conversation had to do with tearing down walls and letting Jesus come in and fix stuff that maybe I wanted to keep broken. Lo and behold, a week later I had a pretty big wall torn down. And while tearing down these walls may never be fun, it is always beneficial, and this morning was no different.
Rewind, a little bit. This weekend was awesome. I had two amazing Skype dates with the girlfriend and spent all day Sunday watching football with a couple of the students that are involved with BearCatholic. And really for the first time, I got to spend a good amount of quality time with some of these guys and not have to talk about work, or Bible studies, or anything, but just talk about life and truly live life with these guys. I think sometimes I get so wrapped up in building these men up that I forget that they like football. I forget that they like having breakfast at 1 in the afternoon. I forget that FOCUS is not the end, but merely just another piece in the lives of these men.
And the biggest grace, which actually brought me to tears in prayer and during my team check in, was this: I miss my girlfriend. I know it sounds weird, especially if you know the situation. We are nearly 700 miles and a time zone apart, and yet now, 3 months into the move, am finally missing her. Well here is the thing: I wasn't letting myself miss her. I put up this wall to be tough and strong through all of this because I knew she was missing me and had to be strong for her. And this morning, I realized something. That's a bunch of bullshit. Why can't I miss her too? Why do I have to be satisfied with 8 weeks apart and not seeing her? Why do I have to be content with 3 phone calls a week and hardly any other time in between? I don't and I won't. I want and need more, and that's okay. In fact that's great.
I know I am on a mission. I have been on this mission with FOCUS for nearly a year and a half. It started in Omaha, NE and will finish in Greeley, CO. I have learned so much about evangelization and the Church, but more importantly, I've learned a ton about myself. I went through a dating fast that tested me in ways I never expected, but came out of it, knowing that my vocation was to be a husband and father, and now I have the awesome opportunity of pursuing that. It's hard. Sometimes I look at other couples at mass or just on campus, and think to myself, "Wow, those two have no idea how lucky they are." And it's true. Sometimes I get a little jealous. Is that a bad thing? Maybe. All I know is that I am pursuing my vocation and at times, not doing a very good job of it.
In FOCUS, we talk all the time about vocations, and that's what our business is; helping students figure out what they're called to and following it with passion. So why can't I do the same? I know my vocation. I think I have the right girl. So why can't I chase after it with all I've got? I am going to stop playing everything off as if it's okay. I send a weekly email to my mission partners with nothing but cheery smiles and happiness. I send out newsletters with the same stuff. When my parents ask how things are going, it's always great. That's a lie. Things aren't always great. Our ministry is struggling. We are having a hard time getting more guys involved, which is a problem since we have a lot graduating this year. We struggle getting people to events. And most importantly, the girl that I am choosing to love with all my heart isn't getting what she deserves.
So from this day forward, I'm making a resolution. First, I am going to bust my ass doing everything I can for the mission, for the kingdom, and for UNC. I get paid to be here and work for God. I get to be His hands and feet and that is something that I cannot and will not take for granted. But secondly, and most importantly, I'm focusing on me. I will still strive to get my 50 point week filled, and still try and reach as many students as possible. But if I'm having a bad day, or really miss Courtney, I'm making that my first priority. I know and have learned throughout these last 3 months that when that relationship is lacking, my mission lacks. My head just isn't in it. The pursuit of my vocation takes priority over the mission, and that's the way it should be. We are all called to holiness, and to find that through the big V, and currently, I am not doing that as best as I can.
Vulnerable. That is being vulnerable. Putting myself and my thoughts and desires out there for others to read. And I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but rejoicing in the gift that God gave me this morning in that grace. I get to rejoice in my lowliness and praise God for a gift I didn't earn or even deserve. And like I said, this blog is for me. If you read this and it helped you...great. That makes me happy. If you read it, and didn't take anything from it...great. I thank you for reading. I thank you for sharing in my vulnerability. And the last thing I want to say, is that this post may seem sad or depressing, but I assure you that it is not. I rejoice in this fact because now I get to work on it. Jesus has placed another challenge in life, and the best part of realizing this is that now I get to start working to do better. That's what we all really live for. We find the bumps and get over them. We find the rough patches and smooth them out. And by the grace of God, we get better. We move forward. We grow in holiness. Isn't that what all of this is about anyway???
In Christ,
Josh
P.S. Courtney, if you're reading this, I love you and miss you very much. 4 more weeks!
Monday, October 21, 2013
Writer's Block in the Chapel
Writer's Block. I have it right now...badly. I try my best to keep this blog up to date and make sure that I post every week. It's actually one of my goals for the semester. Lofty I know. But as I sit here, thinking about what I want to write, and not getting anything, it reminds me of something...my prayer life. For the last few weeks, it feels as if I have had writer's block in prayer. And after Father's homily last night, I think I may know why.
In prayer, it gets so easy to see God as the 911 number. And what I mean by this, is that we only go to Him when we need something. We see God as someone that only answers prayers when we really need Him, and then we just go away. And when the prayer doesn't get answered in the timely fashion we desire, we get upset, or start to lose a little bit of faith. And slowly, that will actually destroy our relationship with God.
So what happens when we ask for something? God can either say yes, say no, or wait. So say you ask for God to give you a door for a new contact on your mission; you know someone to chat up and talk to about the faith. And hours later, that happens. Great! Now don't stop there. Go thank Him for the gift and give Him the praise that he so deserves for opening that door.
What if God says no. I will use the same analogy Father used last night at mass. Say you're back in your grade school days and you get home from school and you want a snack. You call to your mom, "Hey mom, get me a snack!" A half hour goes by...nothing. You call to her again. "Hey mom, get me a snack." Another half hour goes by...nothing. You now realize that your mom has denied your request. But the thing is, it wasn't even a request. It was a demand. Just like your mother, God won't answer a command. You need to make an ask, and even then, God may say no. But why would He say no? He loves you with all He has right?
Exactly. God loves you more than your mother, your father, or even your significant other. And with that being said, God knows what you need and don't need better than any of them and definitely better than yourself. So what you may be asking for is not what God desires. It may not be the best thing for you right now. And when that happens, you have to evaluate what you are asking for, and ask God what He wants for you. And if He gives you the grace to know what that is, then the next step is to ask for that, and God will certainly answer your prayer.
The last response that God can give you is silence. This may be a tricky one. You're asking for something and you feel as if you really need it, but you are just not hearing anything back. God may be speaking but you may be too far away to hear it. God desires so much more from you than just to answer your prayers. He desires a relationship. There may be things you need and God wants to give them to you. However, if you aren't close enough to Him, you won't hear Him.
That may sound like a terrible thing. "Oh no, I am so far from God that I can't hear Him. What am I going to do?!?!" The answer to that question is to keep praying. Because while you may be too far from God, I can assure you that He is never too far away from you. You may have walls up that keep you from God, but God can see right through all those walls and directly into your heart. Keep praying. Keep asking God to show you exactly what walls need to be torn down, and then ask for the help to actually tear them down. It won't be easy and it will take time, but it will bear fruit and you will draw closer to God.
I type this out so I can remember this myself. I have my walls, and at times I am way too stubborn to ask God to help me tear them down. I need to remind myself at times (and really all the time) that I can't do it by myself. If I desire to truly draw closer to God, I have to put my pride in my pocket, and make the effort to ask Him for the help that I so desperately need. So, if this helped you at all in any way, I would love to hear about it and help you in your own prayer. I'm not perfect so I ask you to also pray for me. Who knows? Maybe you'll ask for the one thing that I'm not, but the one thing that I really need.
In Christ,
Josh
In prayer, it gets so easy to see God as the 911 number. And what I mean by this, is that we only go to Him when we need something. We see God as someone that only answers prayers when we really need Him, and then we just go away. And when the prayer doesn't get answered in the timely fashion we desire, we get upset, or start to lose a little bit of faith. And slowly, that will actually destroy our relationship with God.
So what happens when we ask for something? God can either say yes, say no, or wait. So say you ask for God to give you a door for a new contact on your mission; you know someone to chat up and talk to about the faith. And hours later, that happens. Great! Now don't stop there. Go thank Him for the gift and give Him the praise that he so deserves for opening that door.
What if God says no. I will use the same analogy Father used last night at mass. Say you're back in your grade school days and you get home from school and you want a snack. You call to your mom, "Hey mom, get me a snack!" A half hour goes by...nothing. You call to her again. "Hey mom, get me a snack." Another half hour goes by...nothing. You now realize that your mom has denied your request. But the thing is, it wasn't even a request. It was a demand. Just like your mother, God won't answer a command. You need to make an ask, and even then, God may say no. But why would He say no? He loves you with all He has right?
Exactly. God loves you more than your mother, your father, or even your significant other. And with that being said, God knows what you need and don't need better than any of them and definitely better than yourself. So what you may be asking for is not what God desires. It may not be the best thing for you right now. And when that happens, you have to evaluate what you are asking for, and ask God what He wants for you. And if He gives you the grace to know what that is, then the next step is to ask for that, and God will certainly answer your prayer.
The last response that God can give you is silence. This may be a tricky one. You're asking for something and you feel as if you really need it, but you are just not hearing anything back. God may be speaking but you may be too far away to hear it. God desires so much more from you than just to answer your prayers. He desires a relationship. There may be things you need and God wants to give them to you. However, if you aren't close enough to Him, you won't hear Him.
That may sound like a terrible thing. "Oh no, I am so far from God that I can't hear Him. What am I going to do?!?!" The answer to that question is to keep praying. Because while you may be too far from God, I can assure you that He is never too far away from you. You may have walls up that keep you from God, but God can see right through all those walls and directly into your heart. Keep praying. Keep asking God to show you exactly what walls need to be torn down, and then ask for the help to actually tear them down. It won't be easy and it will take time, but it will bear fruit and you will draw closer to God.
I type this out so I can remember this myself. I have my walls, and at times I am way too stubborn to ask God to help me tear them down. I need to remind myself at times (and really all the time) that I can't do it by myself. If I desire to truly draw closer to God, I have to put my pride in my pocket, and make the effort to ask Him for the help that I so desperately need. So, if this helped you at all in any way, I would love to hear about it and help you in your own prayer. I'm not perfect so I ask you to also pray for me. Who knows? Maybe you'll ask for the one thing that I'm not, but the one thing that I really need.
In Christ,
Josh
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Kid 'n' Play
Kid 'n' Play was a hip hop duo in the late 80's and early 90's best know for their killer beats and of course the high flat top fade that was worn by one of the members. But this post isn't about that. Sorry to all fans of Kid 'n' Play. Are there still any left out there??? Anyway, today I will be talking about the childlike faith that is needed to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
I was praying today with the Gospel, Matthew 18: 1-5,10, and it dawned on me that for the most part, I don't fit the description. Jesus talks about having a childlike faith. What does this mean? Well, let's put it in a more human tone. Little kids, when dad leaves home for work or wherever, are right there to wish him a good day and to show love. It's the same when they get back. So, how does this apply to the church? Ask a 40 year old and a 4 year old what the Eucharist is. You may get the same response, "it's Jesus." But then ask them how. How does that happen? From the 40 year old, you get this, "Well through transubstantiation, Jesus comes down from Heaven and...well you know the rest." From the 4 year old, here is what you get. "Jesus flies down from Heaven on his magic carpet, and because He loves us so much he shrinks himself down so much that he fits in a tiny piece of bread. Then we get to eat it!" Yeah, which one sounds better? The 4 year old of course!
But why is that? The difference between the 4 year old and the 40 year old is that the 40 year old believes while the 4 year old knows. There really is a big difference in the two. When you only believe in something, there is the possibility for doubt to creep in. You start thinking to yourself if it is really true and then you start second guessing yourself and the church. But when you know, there is no room for doubt. Another example: say you're in math class and taking a test. If you only believe you know the answer, you have that feeling of whether your answer is right or wrong. And that confusion may lead you to put down the wrong answer, even if in your heart, you thought your first answer was correct (trust me I've done this many times). But if you know the right answer, then you will have no chance of putting down the wrong answer. You will be absolutely certain that you are correct.
We have to be the same way with our faith. So often, we hear something at mass or in a Bible study and think to ourselves, "is that really true?" We struggle with taking things at face value. We know that we are hearing truth, but as we get older we learn more and more, and we let that knowledge get in the way of true love for Jesus and his church. Kids on the other hand, do not have the knowledge that we have as adults and when they hear something from a teacher or adult that they trust, they take it as face value. They don't have anything else to get in the way. And that is beautiful.
Be a kid. In today's world we get so caught up in growing up that we forget to live in the present and we don't take the time to really appreciate what Jesus has and continues to give us. We are constantly searching for the next thing, whether it be school or job or home or spouse, and we forget the one thing that stays constant and unchanging: Jesus. Run to him like a child to his father and know that you are loved.
In Christ,
Josh
[Also, major thanks to all that have viewed or read this blog. It's something that I do entirely for me, because I hate journaling and actually writing on paper, but the fact that you guys follow it and read it is really humbling. Last week I had the most views on any post by far, and to see that was incredible. So big thanks to you guys, and if you ever want me to write on a particular topic, please comment or let me know and I would be happy to give it my best. Thanks again!!!]
I was praying today with the Gospel, Matthew 18: 1-5,10, and it dawned on me that for the most part, I don't fit the description. Jesus talks about having a childlike faith. What does this mean? Well, let's put it in a more human tone. Little kids, when dad leaves home for work or wherever, are right there to wish him a good day and to show love. It's the same when they get back. So, how does this apply to the church? Ask a 40 year old and a 4 year old what the Eucharist is. You may get the same response, "it's Jesus." But then ask them how. How does that happen? From the 40 year old, you get this, "Well through transubstantiation, Jesus comes down from Heaven and...well you know the rest." From the 4 year old, here is what you get. "Jesus flies down from Heaven on his magic carpet, and because He loves us so much he shrinks himself down so much that he fits in a tiny piece of bread. Then we get to eat it!" Yeah, which one sounds better? The 4 year old of course!
But why is that? The difference between the 4 year old and the 40 year old is that the 40 year old believes while the 4 year old knows. There really is a big difference in the two. When you only believe in something, there is the possibility for doubt to creep in. You start thinking to yourself if it is really true and then you start second guessing yourself and the church. But when you know, there is no room for doubt. Another example: say you're in math class and taking a test. If you only believe you know the answer, you have that feeling of whether your answer is right or wrong. And that confusion may lead you to put down the wrong answer, even if in your heart, you thought your first answer was correct (trust me I've done this many times). But if you know the right answer, then you will have no chance of putting down the wrong answer. You will be absolutely certain that you are correct.
We have to be the same way with our faith. So often, we hear something at mass or in a Bible study and think to ourselves, "is that really true?" We struggle with taking things at face value. We know that we are hearing truth, but as we get older we learn more and more, and we let that knowledge get in the way of true love for Jesus and his church. Kids on the other hand, do not have the knowledge that we have as adults and when they hear something from a teacher or adult that they trust, they take it as face value. They don't have anything else to get in the way. And that is beautiful.
Be a kid. In today's world we get so caught up in growing up that we forget to live in the present and we don't take the time to really appreciate what Jesus has and continues to give us. We are constantly searching for the next thing, whether it be school or job or home or spouse, and we forget the one thing that stays constant and unchanging: Jesus. Run to him like a child to his father and know that you are loved.
In Christ,
Josh
[Also, major thanks to all that have viewed or read this blog. It's something that I do entirely for me, because I hate journaling and actually writing on paper, but the fact that you guys follow it and read it is really humbling. Last week I had the most views on any post by far, and to see that was incredible. So big thanks to you guys, and if you ever want me to write on a particular topic, please comment or let me know and I would be happy to give it my best. Thanks again!!!]
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
My First Month Failure
One month into the new school year. Outreach is still in full swing. The multiple events that were held are over, and now it's time to start building up these students. Let's get them into Bible studies and let's start filling them up with the love of Christ. Great! I had my first study last week and I was beyond excited. I was finally getting to the part of my mission that I'm good at...the teaching aspect. I was finally going to be able to take 5 guys under my wing and lead them to Christ. Then Wednesday came and only one guy showed up...
WHY?
Here is why only one of my contacts came. I wasn't being relational. Out of the 25 names on my list, I had only met a couple of them, and even when I was contacting them, it wasn't to hang out or go play basketball or grab lunch. I was making the calls and without ever really knowing these guys, I was already inviting them into study. I was going straight to the BUILD stage without ever winning them over. I was assuming that the students had already been won over by a game of ultimate frisbee or life-size Mario Kart (yeah that actually happened), but they weren't. Those events were just the first steps. The winning process takes time and is vital to any ministry.
THE KEY POINT
I don't know about girls, but with guys trust is a huge thing. In a Bible study, the men are asked to open up and share their thoughts and ideas on not only a particular subject within scripture, but are also asked to open up about their own lives, their own shortcomings and failures, and that can be really tough for guys. We have this idea that we have to be closed up and can't let our true feelings show in order to be manly, but that is just the opposite. We have to be willing to open up to our fellow men if we ever want to become the men God wants us to be. However, that isn't something that just happens immediately. Like I said, it's tough for guys to do that. So what do we do? We must be relational with these men. Hang out with them. If a guy wants to be a gym rat and work out all day, go do it. If you have a guy that loves music and just wants to chill in the dorm listening to Kayne (or whatever kids listen to these days) do it! It may not be something you enjoy doing, but that is how you build that trust. And it is no overnight process. It will take time and a ton of patience, but for your ministry to be the most fruitful, patience is needed to gain that trust.
I learned this the hard way this year. I tried to cut some corners and go to the build without the win. It didn't work. And to be real honest, I'm not surprised. I know that I wouldn't go to a study with someone I didn't know, let alone somebody I've never even met. So, if you can learn something from my failure in the first month of the year, it's this: be relational. The WIN is just as key as the build in the sense that if you don't win a particular student over, you won't get the chance to build him/her up. Take time getting to know these students inside and out before you try and fill them with Jesus. It can be uncomfortable and awkward, but isn't eternity worth the awkwardness?
In Christ,
Josh
WHY?
Here is why only one of my contacts came. I wasn't being relational. Out of the 25 names on my list, I had only met a couple of them, and even when I was contacting them, it wasn't to hang out or go play basketball or grab lunch. I was making the calls and without ever really knowing these guys, I was already inviting them into study. I was going straight to the BUILD stage without ever winning them over. I was assuming that the students had already been won over by a game of ultimate frisbee or life-size Mario Kart (yeah that actually happened), but they weren't. Those events were just the first steps. The winning process takes time and is vital to any ministry.
THE KEY POINT
I don't know about girls, but with guys trust is a huge thing. In a Bible study, the men are asked to open up and share their thoughts and ideas on not only a particular subject within scripture, but are also asked to open up about their own lives, their own shortcomings and failures, and that can be really tough for guys. We have this idea that we have to be closed up and can't let our true feelings show in order to be manly, but that is just the opposite. We have to be willing to open up to our fellow men if we ever want to become the men God wants us to be. However, that isn't something that just happens immediately. Like I said, it's tough for guys to do that. So what do we do? We must be relational with these men. Hang out with them. If a guy wants to be a gym rat and work out all day, go do it. If you have a guy that loves music and just wants to chill in the dorm listening to Kayne (or whatever kids listen to these days) do it! It may not be something you enjoy doing, but that is how you build that trust. And it is no overnight process. It will take time and a ton of patience, but for your ministry to be the most fruitful, patience is needed to gain that trust.
I learned this the hard way this year. I tried to cut some corners and go to the build without the win. It didn't work. And to be real honest, I'm not surprised. I know that I wouldn't go to a study with someone I didn't know, let alone somebody I've never even met. So, if you can learn something from my failure in the first month of the year, it's this: be relational. The WIN is just as key as the build in the sense that if you don't win a particular student over, you won't get the chance to build him/her up. Take time getting to know these students inside and out before you try and fill them with Jesus. It can be uncomfortable and awkward, but isn't eternity worth the awkwardness?
In Christ,
Josh
Thursday, August 29, 2013
A New Hope
OK, so to start off, this post isn't about Star Wars, but if that is all you were looking for, please don't leave. Please???
It's the start of a new year. My first year as a missionary is finally in the books, and I have moved onto a new campus, a new state, and a new Josh. I will be serving this school year in Greeley at the University of Northern Colorado. Tear em up Bears! (Am I doing that right???) Anyway, I just wanted to write today in an attempt to shake off the cobwebs from the summer and to gear up for the new year.
Welcome Week is almost over and while I was busy with meetings, nightly events, and a long two weeks, I was able to really look at the past year and evaluate my first campaign as a missionary. If I had one word to describe the last year, it would be...struggle. But this is not a bad thing. I struggled in many areas, and all of those struggles have led me to the humbling realization that I am nowhere near perfect and that I have a lot of work to do. That could be a lot of pressure, but you know what I say to that? Bring it on. I learned so much from those struggles and found out things about myself that I never knew or thought were in the past. Today, I just want to share two of those with you and how they will be a springboard for my next term as a missionary.
First, and foremost, is my own personal holiness. In FOCUS we constantly push the Big 3 (chastity, sobriety, and excellence) and last year I failed miserably in all three. While I won't go into detail about them, I will say that each area was a stumbling block for me in my first year. And when I failed, I pulled away from God. I did not want to pray, and kept myself distant from God. I went to mass, but was never really into it. I was embarrassed and was full of self-hating thoughts about how I was not good enough or that I should not be a missionary. Yeah, not typical things you hear from a missionary, but hey why not get them out into the open?
But what did I learn from all of this? I learned that I wasn't telling God anything! I kept all my thoughts, feelings, and desires from Him and therefore did not let the divine physician come in with His scalpel and...other medical tools (I don't know, I'm not a doctor) and let him do work. Jesus not only wants us at our best, but even more he wants us at our worst. And last year, I kept him from those places so often, that I was rarely able to give Him my best. This year, I hope to lay all of my struggles out on the table with Jesus and let him take care of them all, and I invite you to do the same. Felling crappy? Not able to get over the hump and move forward from a particular sin? Give it to Jesus...and I mean really give it to Jesus. None of this ho-hum, "yeah Jesus I guess you can work on this if you want..." No! Let go of it and let the Son of God take over.
Next, the mission. Now, those of you that know me, know that I am an introvert and outreach can be one of the toughest things for me. Jesus gave me a great gift to teach and I'm great at that, but when it comes to outreach...well let's just say I can get pretty awkward. Last fall, I did not let myself really let go and put myself out there in order to save souls. And I suffered. I was only able to reach a small number of students and while I love them to pieces, I missed a ton of people and I will have to answer for that. Students at UNO missed an opportunity to be evangelized and to know Jesus because I was too afraid of failure. That cannot happen.
Here is the learning point. I've heard it so many times in the last year, but yes eternity is worth the awkwardness. Not just my eternity, but the salvation of those around me. It may be tough for me to walk up to someone I don't know and start a conversation, but hey, maybe that person has no idea who Jesus is, and when he finally meets him, the person becomes the next pope. A stretch? Maybe. But you will never know if don't put yourself out there. And if the person thinks you're crazy and dismisses the idea of the Catholic Church as a whole...well at least you can say you tried and that burden does not have to weigh on your shoulders. So this year, I am making a resolution to put myself out there even if I just end up standing there with my hands in pockets like a goof.
A new hope. Feels good. Last year is behind me and all of the struggles, mistakes, and poor decisions are in the past. That's the beauty of the church. When we fail, we get a new start. Jesus loves us so much that every single time we move in the wrong direction, he forgives us and we get to get back on the right track. But it is not enough, just to seek forgiveness. We must seek holiness. We must seek sanctity. We must seek perfection. None of us deserve Heaven but what we can rely on is the mercy and goodness of Our Lord to get us over the roadblocks that lie in wait. Don't let your past define you. You're better than that.
In Christ,
Josh
It's the start of a new year. My first year as a missionary is finally in the books, and I have moved onto a new campus, a new state, and a new Josh. I will be serving this school year in Greeley at the University of Northern Colorado. Tear em up Bears! (Am I doing that right???) Anyway, I just wanted to write today in an attempt to shake off the cobwebs from the summer and to gear up for the new year.
Welcome Week is almost over and while I was busy with meetings, nightly events, and a long two weeks, I was able to really look at the past year and evaluate my first campaign as a missionary. If I had one word to describe the last year, it would be...struggle. But this is not a bad thing. I struggled in many areas, and all of those struggles have led me to the humbling realization that I am nowhere near perfect and that I have a lot of work to do. That could be a lot of pressure, but you know what I say to that? Bring it on. I learned so much from those struggles and found out things about myself that I never knew or thought were in the past. Today, I just want to share two of those with you and how they will be a springboard for my next term as a missionary.
First, and foremost, is my own personal holiness. In FOCUS we constantly push the Big 3 (chastity, sobriety, and excellence) and last year I failed miserably in all three. While I won't go into detail about them, I will say that each area was a stumbling block for me in my first year. And when I failed, I pulled away from God. I did not want to pray, and kept myself distant from God. I went to mass, but was never really into it. I was embarrassed and was full of self-hating thoughts about how I was not good enough or that I should not be a missionary. Yeah, not typical things you hear from a missionary, but hey why not get them out into the open?
But what did I learn from all of this? I learned that I wasn't telling God anything! I kept all my thoughts, feelings, and desires from Him and therefore did not let the divine physician come in with His scalpel and...other medical tools (I don't know, I'm not a doctor) and let him do work. Jesus not only wants us at our best, but even more he wants us at our worst. And last year, I kept him from those places so often, that I was rarely able to give Him my best. This year, I hope to lay all of my struggles out on the table with Jesus and let him take care of them all, and I invite you to do the same. Felling crappy? Not able to get over the hump and move forward from a particular sin? Give it to Jesus...and I mean really give it to Jesus. None of this ho-hum, "yeah Jesus I guess you can work on this if you want..." No! Let go of it and let the Son of God take over.
Next, the mission. Now, those of you that know me, know that I am an introvert and outreach can be one of the toughest things for me. Jesus gave me a great gift to teach and I'm great at that, but when it comes to outreach...well let's just say I can get pretty awkward. Last fall, I did not let myself really let go and put myself out there in order to save souls. And I suffered. I was only able to reach a small number of students and while I love them to pieces, I missed a ton of people and I will have to answer for that. Students at UNO missed an opportunity to be evangelized and to know Jesus because I was too afraid of failure. That cannot happen.
Here is the learning point. I've heard it so many times in the last year, but yes eternity is worth the awkwardness. Not just my eternity, but the salvation of those around me. It may be tough for me to walk up to someone I don't know and start a conversation, but hey, maybe that person has no idea who Jesus is, and when he finally meets him, the person becomes the next pope. A stretch? Maybe. But you will never know if don't put yourself out there. And if the person thinks you're crazy and dismisses the idea of the Catholic Church as a whole...well at least you can say you tried and that burden does not have to weigh on your shoulders. So this year, I am making a resolution to put myself out there even if I just end up standing there with my hands in pockets like a goof.
A new hope. Feels good. Last year is behind me and all of the struggles, mistakes, and poor decisions are in the past. That's the beauty of the church. When we fail, we get a new start. Jesus loves us so much that every single time we move in the wrong direction, he forgives us and we get to get back on the right track. But it is not enough, just to seek forgiveness. We must seek holiness. We must seek sanctity. We must seek perfection. None of us deserve Heaven but what we can rely on is the mercy and goodness of Our Lord to get us over the roadblocks that lie in wait. Don't let your past define you. You're better than that.
In Christ,
Josh
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Wendy Davis, You are No Hero
So for those of you that are not informed of what has taken place in Texas, let me update you quickly. A bill was introduced to the Texas Senate that would have banned abortions after 20 weeks and would have most likely closed a large majority of the abortion mills in the state. Senator Wendy Davis attempted to filibuster the bill but after three times going off topic, her efforts were finished. However, her cohorts in the Senate continued to argue with parliamentary inquiries until they were blue in the face. After those were put to rest, the crowd (that never should be allowed in the room in the first place) cheered until the time ran out and the bill was taken off the table. Another loss for the pro-life groups across the country.
I stayed up until nearly 1:30 Eastern time watching, thinking about, and praying for this bill to pass. And I have to say that I was rather disgusted at what took place. I understand that people are misinformed and do not really know what they are cheering/voting for so let me fill those people in: you are cheering for death. When those men and women in the chamber room were cheering and chanting for Wendy and her friends, they were cheering for the deaths of tens and hundreds of thousands of innocent children. There is no other way to look at it. Abortion is murder whether it is in the 20th week or in the first day, and those that opposed the bill are explicitly voicing their opinions that this is okay. America had a great opportunity last night to take a step in the right direction after so many were taken backwards and they failed. They did not fail us as citizens, but they failed the many many lives that will be taken before they even get a chance to breathe their first breaths of the air that fill this great country.
With this filibuster and with today's news that DOMA was ruled unconstitutional and Prop 8 was taken off the table, I get very upset at where this country is headed. We have people, possibly your next door neighbors, that are completely fine with not only being responsible for the murder of children, but for the breakdown of the family as a whole. It may not be entirely their fault though. The mainstream media and those that we call "celebrities" are all in favor of the culture of death and fill our heads with this junk every single day. It's a miracle that we all are not in favor of this garbage. And that gives me hope. I know that God knows what He is doing. He has a plan that is bigger than one court ruling in one state in country in the entire world. It just gets very hard to trust sometimes, and the fact that this culture is so hell bent on death does not make it any easier. However, as Christians we need to fully place our trust in God that something good will come of this.
Right is right even if nobody is doing it, and wrong is wrong even if everybody is doing it. And maybe I will ruffle some feathers by saying this but I believe it needs to be said. Wendy Davis and those that are in favor of the murder and absolute destruction of babies are wrong and should not be happy about what they accomplished. Ms. Davis you are no hero even though you are being praised as a God by those that do not even believe in a higher power. And I continue to pray for those that are still waiting to be told the truth and take ownership of that. Our country right now is afraid of responsibility, afraid of accountability, and afraid of the truth. But my trust is in God who never fails, who is always accountable, who is always loving, and holds me to the same standards.
So to sum up my rant here, I just have to say that while I am disappointed in what took place over the last 12 hours, I still have a lot of hope. I have a lot of hope that good will come of this. And to my pro-life brothers and sisters that may not totally agree with some of the things that I am saying, I apologize. But please know that I am putting my trust and my faith in God and not in our government. When push comes to shove, know that I will be standing with you arm in arm dying in a prison before I take the life of one innocent child so that my life can be convenient and comfortable. Peace.
In Christ,
Josh
I stayed up until nearly 1:30 Eastern time watching, thinking about, and praying for this bill to pass. And I have to say that I was rather disgusted at what took place. I understand that people are misinformed and do not really know what they are cheering/voting for so let me fill those people in: you are cheering for death. When those men and women in the chamber room were cheering and chanting for Wendy and her friends, they were cheering for the deaths of tens and hundreds of thousands of innocent children. There is no other way to look at it. Abortion is murder whether it is in the 20th week or in the first day, and those that opposed the bill are explicitly voicing their opinions that this is okay. America had a great opportunity last night to take a step in the right direction after so many were taken backwards and they failed. They did not fail us as citizens, but they failed the many many lives that will be taken before they even get a chance to breathe their first breaths of the air that fill this great country.
With this filibuster and with today's news that DOMA was ruled unconstitutional and Prop 8 was taken off the table, I get very upset at where this country is headed. We have people, possibly your next door neighbors, that are completely fine with not only being responsible for the murder of children, but for the breakdown of the family as a whole. It may not be entirely their fault though. The mainstream media and those that we call "celebrities" are all in favor of the culture of death and fill our heads with this junk every single day. It's a miracle that we all are not in favor of this garbage. And that gives me hope. I know that God knows what He is doing. He has a plan that is bigger than one court ruling in one state in country in the entire world. It just gets very hard to trust sometimes, and the fact that this culture is so hell bent on death does not make it any easier. However, as Christians we need to fully place our trust in God that something good will come of this.
Right is right even if nobody is doing it, and wrong is wrong even if everybody is doing it. And maybe I will ruffle some feathers by saying this but I believe it needs to be said. Wendy Davis and those that are in favor of the murder and absolute destruction of babies are wrong and should not be happy about what they accomplished. Ms. Davis you are no hero even though you are being praised as a God by those that do not even believe in a higher power. And I continue to pray for those that are still waiting to be told the truth and take ownership of that. Our country right now is afraid of responsibility, afraid of accountability, and afraid of the truth. But my trust is in God who never fails, who is always accountable, who is always loving, and holds me to the same standards.
So to sum up my rant here, I just have to say that while I am disappointed in what took place over the last 12 hours, I still have a lot of hope. I have a lot of hope that good will come of this. And to my pro-life brothers and sisters that may not totally agree with some of the things that I am saying, I apologize. But please know that I am putting my trust and my faith in God and not in our government. When push comes to shove, know that I will be standing with you arm in arm dying in a prison before I take the life of one innocent child so that my life can be convenient and comfortable. Peace.
In Christ,
Josh
Monday, May 20, 2013
Sufferin Succotash!
Suffering: it sucks. We all experience suffering in some way. Some of us deal with financial difficulties, problems with a terrible boss at work, or maybe you have been searching for that one person in the world that is going to the be the Juliet to your Romeo or vice versa. Whatever the case may be, we all go through some sort of suffering in our lives. And from this, we can go two directions. We can let it rule our lives and make us miserable, or we can tackle it head on...but not in the way that you would think.
Psalm 37 asks the question, "Why do the wicked prosper and the good suffer?" Good question. In our present day society, we see many examples of the wicked prospering while we sit in our suffering. That jerk in accounting just got a raise, while you bust your hump and get nothing. Or the captain of the football team gets another award and praised by the whole school while you get a 4.0 and still nobody knows who you are. These are all "first world" examples of suffering, but let's take a look at what this Psalm tells us about true suffering. God tells us that we have to "wait for him" (Psalm 37:7). I don't want to wait. "The poor will inherit the earth" (37:11). I sure as heck don't want to be poor. "The righteous one is generous and gives" (37:21). I want to keep my stuff. And the good "may stumble" (37:23). Yeah, I want to stand upright on my feet. All these things are going to happen to those who strive for righteousness. It is inevitable. But, it is what we do with this suffering that truly matters.
Picture a timeline. This timeline reaches from the beginning of the world, to the very end. OK got it? Now, try and find your short lifespan on there. You can't. The time we have here on earth is so minute that you would never be able to place it on a timeline. So, as a human being, I should probably make good with the time that I have. There are a ton of good things we can do in our time, but today we continue with the theme of suffering. What can I do with my suffering that will make an impact? This may sound obvious and trivial, but offer it up! And there are so many things for which you can offer your suffering. It could be for drought or the end to abortion or for the wars all over the world. OR...or you could offer it up for that guy who got the raise in accounting. OR...or you could offer it up for that football player that got all the recognition. If it is the wicked that are prospering and receiving all the praise and glory, then they probably could use those prayers and there is nothing more honorable on this earth than to suffer for the kingdom of God and His people...all of His people.
We all suffer. Now, the suffering that we experience in this lifetime is nothing like the hardships that Peter and the rest of the apostles went through. I can walk down the street proclaiming that I am a Christian to anyone and yeah, I might get some strange looks, but my life is never in danger. Some of you reading this may have never had to face any real suffering. I know I sure didn't when I was younger. Things came easy to me. I got good grades and was halfway decent at throwing a baseball and had a good group of friends around me. But in an instant all that can be taken away, and what remains is the opportunity to build a relationship with God. Take that opportunity! If we just let our problems sit on the skin instead of offering them up to the divine healer, they eventually will get infected. And after that, the infection starts to spread and impact other parts of your body. We cannot let that happen to our souls. They are far too precious and important to let anything happen to them. So we need to stop trying to save our own souls and fix our own problems and let Jesus do it. He's better at it anyway.
In Christ,
Josh
Psalm 37 asks the question, "Why do the wicked prosper and the good suffer?" Good question. In our present day society, we see many examples of the wicked prospering while we sit in our suffering. That jerk in accounting just got a raise, while you bust your hump and get nothing. Or the captain of the football team gets another award and praised by the whole school while you get a 4.0 and still nobody knows who you are. These are all "first world" examples of suffering, but let's take a look at what this Psalm tells us about true suffering. God tells us that we have to "wait for him" (Psalm 37:7). I don't want to wait. "The poor will inherit the earth" (37:11). I sure as heck don't want to be poor. "The righteous one is generous and gives" (37:21). I want to keep my stuff. And the good "may stumble" (37:23). Yeah, I want to stand upright on my feet. All these things are going to happen to those who strive for righteousness. It is inevitable. But, it is what we do with this suffering that truly matters.
Picture a timeline. This timeline reaches from the beginning of the world, to the very end. OK got it? Now, try and find your short lifespan on there. You can't. The time we have here on earth is so minute that you would never be able to place it on a timeline. So, as a human being, I should probably make good with the time that I have. There are a ton of good things we can do in our time, but today we continue with the theme of suffering. What can I do with my suffering that will make an impact? This may sound obvious and trivial, but offer it up! And there are so many things for which you can offer your suffering. It could be for drought or the end to abortion or for the wars all over the world. OR...or you could offer it up for that guy who got the raise in accounting. OR...or you could offer it up for that football player that got all the recognition. If it is the wicked that are prospering and receiving all the praise and glory, then they probably could use those prayers and there is nothing more honorable on this earth than to suffer for the kingdom of God and His people...all of His people.
We all suffer. Now, the suffering that we experience in this lifetime is nothing like the hardships that Peter and the rest of the apostles went through. I can walk down the street proclaiming that I am a Christian to anyone and yeah, I might get some strange looks, but my life is never in danger. Some of you reading this may have never had to face any real suffering. I know I sure didn't when I was younger. Things came easy to me. I got good grades and was halfway decent at throwing a baseball and had a good group of friends around me. But in an instant all that can be taken away, and what remains is the opportunity to build a relationship with God. Take that opportunity! If we just let our problems sit on the skin instead of offering them up to the divine healer, they eventually will get infected. And after that, the infection starts to spread and impact other parts of your body. We cannot let that happen to our souls. They are far too precious and important to let anything happen to them. So we need to stop trying to save our own souls and fix our own problems and let Jesus do it. He's better at it anyway.
In Christ,
Josh
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Christ in College
College. It's the most important 4, well maybe ...ok 6 years of your life. You come in at the ripe young age of 18 and hopefully you leave by the time you are 30 with a degree in hand. And hopefully you can actually find a job with said degree. Having these goals are great. As Americans we all strive to live that American dream. We want to have a great job, start a family, and make enough money so that the golf course becomes your second home when you hit the age of 70. But what about your faith? What goals do you have to sustain and build your relationship with Christ and his Church? These questions should be just as important, if not more important than the major you end up choosing. Well today, I am going to give you some tips for making the faith your own when you leave the nest.
The first step is choosing the right school. There are all kinds of schools around; teaching schools, nursing schools, tech schools and all of them have great qualities. But the Christian culture of the school needs to factored in as well. Is there a church on campus? What about a Newman Center? Is there at least a good Catholic community around? If the answers to these questions are yes, then go for it! For me, having these types of things on my campus was huge in my coming back to the faith. Without the Newman Center at the greatest college in the world (the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in case you were wondering) along with the greatest people in the world, I may have never found my way back to the faith. So do yourself a favor and ask yourself those questions before you decide on a school.
OK so you chose to go to a school with all of these things. Great, now what??? USE THEM! Colleges do not have Newman Centers and Catholic churches on campus so they can sit empty. Get your butt over there and pray. "But Josh, you don't understand. I have 3 tests this week and 4 papers and 19 projects. How am I going to find time to get a holy hour in?" I lived the college life. Unless you are triple majoring in Chemistry, Biology, and Physics, you are not that busy. The college schedule always allows for free time. It's up to you as to how you are going to spend that free time. You can party. You can watch TV. You can hang out with friends. But what about building your relationship with Jesus? All he wants is some time with you. Go hang out with Jesus. Do your homework in the chapel. Whatever you have to do to get even 30 minutes with Jesus, do it! Because as St. Josemaria Escriva so famously says, "When you approach the tabernacle, remember that he has been waiting for you for twenty centuries." The least you can do is give him some of your time.
"Alright Josh, so I picked a nice Catholic college and I'm praying and going to mass and doing all of those things. What's next?" What's next? Go spread the good news! The Catholic faith is an absolute gift from God and by holding it in for yourself, all you are doing is being selfish and doing a disservice to others. There are literally tens and hundreds of thousands of college students on campuses all over the country that are thirsting for truth. Go give it to them! Now, you can't go beat someone over the head with a Bible or start condemning them for their sins. Just go love them. It's really that simple. Go live your life with someone else and the love of Christ that is radiating through you will rub off on them. I guarantee it. It may be a little scary to go out and evangelize (I know. I know. Catholics hate the E-word). This is why the community of Catholic students that I mentioned earlier is so very important. You are going to meet people in college that are not Catholic. It's inevitable. Your task is to bring them in. They will probably be reluctant to go to mass or a Bible study right off the bat, but bring them to a movie night or a dance, or anything else that is being held. The relationship with that particular person is far more important than the "rules" at the start. Love them like people loved me in college and who knows, maybe they end up becoming a FOCUS missionary...
College is hard. You have homework. You have tests. You may have a job. It is a lot to juggle when you start those 4, 5, or 6 years. But if there is one piece of advice that I can give you, it is that you should truly consider making the faith your own. Find people that are going to help you get the ball rolling. If you still haven't decided on a school, look for ones that are FOCUS campuses. Those schools have teams of four or more people that have the job of helping you find your faith. And when you find the faith, don't hold it in. Share it with others and God will fill you up more abundantly than you ever imagined.
Peace and love,
Josh
The first step is choosing the right school. There are all kinds of schools around; teaching schools, nursing schools, tech schools and all of them have great qualities. But the Christian culture of the school needs to factored in as well. Is there a church on campus? What about a Newman Center? Is there at least a good Catholic community around? If the answers to these questions are yes, then go for it! For me, having these types of things on my campus was huge in my coming back to the faith. Without the Newman Center at the greatest college in the world (the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in case you were wondering) along with the greatest people in the world, I may have never found my way back to the faith. So do yourself a favor and ask yourself those questions before you decide on a school.
OK so you chose to go to a school with all of these things. Great, now what??? USE THEM! Colleges do not have Newman Centers and Catholic churches on campus so they can sit empty. Get your butt over there and pray. "But Josh, you don't understand. I have 3 tests this week and 4 papers and 19 projects. How am I going to find time to get a holy hour in?" I lived the college life. Unless you are triple majoring in Chemistry, Biology, and Physics, you are not that busy. The college schedule always allows for free time. It's up to you as to how you are going to spend that free time. You can party. You can watch TV. You can hang out with friends. But what about building your relationship with Jesus? All he wants is some time with you. Go hang out with Jesus. Do your homework in the chapel. Whatever you have to do to get even 30 minutes with Jesus, do it! Because as St. Josemaria Escriva so famously says, "When you approach the tabernacle, remember that he has been waiting for you for twenty centuries." The least you can do is give him some of your time.
"Alright Josh, so I picked a nice Catholic college and I'm praying and going to mass and doing all of those things. What's next?" What's next? Go spread the good news! The Catholic faith is an absolute gift from God and by holding it in for yourself, all you are doing is being selfish and doing a disservice to others. There are literally tens and hundreds of thousands of college students on campuses all over the country that are thirsting for truth. Go give it to them! Now, you can't go beat someone over the head with a Bible or start condemning them for their sins. Just go love them. It's really that simple. Go live your life with someone else and the love of Christ that is radiating through you will rub off on them. I guarantee it. It may be a little scary to go out and evangelize (I know. I know. Catholics hate the E-word). This is why the community of Catholic students that I mentioned earlier is so very important. You are going to meet people in college that are not Catholic. It's inevitable. Your task is to bring them in. They will probably be reluctant to go to mass or a Bible study right off the bat, but bring them to a movie night or a dance, or anything else that is being held. The relationship with that particular person is far more important than the "rules" at the start. Love them like people loved me in college and who knows, maybe they end up becoming a FOCUS missionary...
College is hard. You have homework. You have tests. You may have a job. It is a lot to juggle when you start those 4, 5, or 6 years. But if there is one piece of advice that I can give you, it is that you should truly consider making the faith your own. Find people that are going to help you get the ball rolling. If you still haven't decided on a school, look for ones that are FOCUS campuses. Those schools have teams of four or more people that have the job of helping you find your faith. And when you find the faith, don't hold it in. Share it with others and God will fill you up more abundantly than you ever imagined.
Peace and love,
Josh
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Relate It!
It is certainly no secret that men do not like to talk about their feelings, especially when those feelings revolve around something that may make them feel embarrassed or vulnerable. Guys would much rather bottle it up and push it down to the inner depths of their core, where for the most part it remains hidden. But what happens then? Does the issue go away? No! It festers as if it were a zit on the chin of a freshly 16 year old kid who is about to ask out the girl of his dreams. It may take hours, days, weeks, or even months but eventually that thing is going to blow.
This is exactly the sort of situation that Jesus wants us to avoid, and not just every once in awhile but all the time! We all battle certain issues and have our very own crosses to carry everyday. And you know what, sometimes those crosses feel nearly impossible to carry and we feel as if the whole world is going to crash down on top of us. But Jesus tells us that he wants to help. He wants to help us carry that cross just as Simon of Cyrene did for him nearly 2,000 years ago. "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). God wants to be there for every single time you feel sad, hurt, angry, scared, embarrassed, or any other emotion that comes to mind. He wants to enter into those dark places and shine light on them so that he can heal them.
OK so what happens to us when we don't relate those things to Christ; when we do not let him enter into the dark places of our very soul? Remember, Jesus is the PERFECT gentleman and will not go there unless you open the door. Here is what happens. At first, you may feel fine. Those feelings of anger or sadness may go away for a short while. Great. However, when this happens over time those dark places get filled up. It is very much like a landfill that eventually reaches capacity with all the garbage that we place down there. And what happens over time, is that there must be some sort of release and this happens in a variety of ways. It could be expressed through external noise such as music or TV or sports, which are good things, but can be a giant mask for the problem that is lying underneath. And even then the problem is not yet resolved, which can lead to more self-destructing habits such as drugs and alcohol. And when it comes to this, you are not only harming yourself but putting those around you in dangerous and uncomfortable situations, all while your original problem is not yet resolved.
So what does Jesus want us to do when something is off, when something is just not quite right? He wants us to tell him! Jesus loves us in our brokenness and wants to heal those places at the very root! Think of your best friend or your significant other. You know them so well that you can instantly tell when something is not right, when something is just a little bit off. And how does that make you feel? You want to help them! You want them to come to you because you want to resolve whatever issue is going on inside. Jesus is the same way except so many times more! Jesus wants to hear your problem and better yet, being the divine physician that he is, he can heal that wound. He can dig around in there, fix the break, and close up the wound leaving no scars. But it is up to us to give him that opportunity.
Tell Jesus your problems. Relate everything to him. And do not hold anything back. I mean, really, he knows you better than you do. Jesus knows everything that is going on inside that mess of a head that we all have and wants nothing more than to figure everything out. So let him. The consequences are far too serious if we don't. You harm yourself. You break bonds with people that truly care about you, and you put yourself in a very scary place. As my boss always tells me...be clear, simple, and easy with Jesus. After that, the rest is well...clear, simple, and easy.
This is exactly the sort of situation that Jesus wants us to avoid, and not just every once in awhile but all the time! We all battle certain issues and have our very own crosses to carry everyday. And you know what, sometimes those crosses feel nearly impossible to carry and we feel as if the whole world is going to crash down on top of us. But Jesus tells us that he wants to help. He wants to help us carry that cross just as Simon of Cyrene did for him nearly 2,000 years ago. "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). God wants to be there for every single time you feel sad, hurt, angry, scared, embarrassed, or any other emotion that comes to mind. He wants to enter into those dark places and shine light on them so that he can heal them.
OK so what happens to us when we don't relate those things to Christ; when we do not let him enter into the dark places of our very soul? Remember, Jesus is the PERFECT gentleman and will not go there unless you open the door. Here is what happens. At first, you may feel fine. Those feelings of anger or sadness may go away for a short while. Great. However, when this happens over time those dark places get filled up. It is very much like a landfill that eventually reaches capacity with all the garbage that we place down there. And what happens over time, is that there must be some sort of release and this happens in a variety of ways. It could be expressed through external noise such as music or TV or sports, which are good things, but can be a giant mask for the problem that is lying underneath. And even then the problem is not yet resolved, which can lead to more self-destructing habits such as drugs and alcohol. And when it comes to this, you are not only harming yourself but putting those around you in dangerous and uncomfortable situations, all while your original problem is not yet resolved.
So what does Jesus want us to do when something is off, when something is just not quite right? He wants us to tell him! Jesus loves us in our brokenness and wants to heal those places at the very root! Think of your best friend or your significant other. You know them so well that you can instantly tell when something is not right, when something is just a little bit off. And how does that make you feel? You want to help them! You want them to come to you because you want to resolve whatever issue is going on inside. Jesus is the same way except so many times more! Jesus wants to hear your problem and better yet, being the divine physician that he is, he can heal that wound. He can dig around in there, fix the break, and close up the wound leaving no scars. But it is up to us to give him that opportunity.
Tell Jesus your problems. Relate everything to him. And do not hold anything back. I mean, really, he knows you better than you do. Jesus knows everything that is going on inside that mess of a head that we all have and wants nothing more than to figure everything out. So let him. The consequences are far too serious if we don't. You harm yourself. You break bonds with people that truly care about you, and you put yourself in a very scary place. As my boss always tells me...be clear, simple, and easy with Jesus. After that, the rest is well...clear, simple, and easy.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
My First Year
Being a missionary is hard. You are asked to go to a brand new place to work with a team of three or more people that you do not know to talk to students you do not know about someone that they may or may not know (Hint...it's Jesus). Being a missionary is awesome. You get to travel to a new campus, receive new brothers and sisters in teammates, build life long friendships with students and strengthen your own relationship with Christ. So, being that this is my last week on campus of my first year as a missionary, I thought I would hit on a couple key highlights from the year.
THE MISSION
When I got to campus, I was scared to death. I am the ultimate introvert and now I was being asked to meet students that I did not know with the intention of building them up with Christ. OK take a deep breath Josh. It's going to be alright. You can do this. And lo and behold I did! I got the opportunity this year to work with many amazing men that, over the course of the school calendar, really started to understand and begin to form their own personal relationship with Christ and His Church. I watched boys become men right in front of my very eyes, and that has been a gift that I could not have received without taking this job. I still remember the first Bible study and after I asked a question, all I heard was the sound of crickets. But in our last book study of the year, I could ask a question and let the guys run with it. And even though, I will not be around in the coming years to watch the continued growth, I could not be more excited to see how those men set the campus on fire!
THE DATING FAST
For those of you that don't know, all first year missionaries are required to go on a dating fast for their first year on staff. Yeah, I was not cool with that. I remember praying about it and telling Jesus, "Lord please make this dating fast go away." But, it was never a prayer that I wanted to be answered immediately, because I knew that during this fast I was going to learn something that was worth knowing. I struggled at first. Oh boy did I struggle! I felt like I was falling for every girl I met on campus and emotional chastity was being tested extremely hard. But I got through it. I kept fighting the good fight and to be real honest, this fast has been the biggest blessing of my first year on staff. I have learned more about women than at any other time in my life. I used to look at all women as a potential soulmate instead of looking of them as first a sister in Christ. And as the dating fast comes to an end, I have learned invaluable lessons and gained the tools to make "the dating game" a lot less scary.
THE RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST
I thought I had a pretty good relationship with Christ when I got to campus. I went to mass multiple times a week (when I could). I prayed on a regular basis (when I could). Yeah, I would say that Jesus and I were pretty tight. I had no idea what I was in for this year. I had never prayed holy hours on a daily basis and never went mass every day until I got to training and then to campus. Jesus blew the doors wide open again. It was almost as if I was a 20 year old kid sitting in front of the Eucharist at conference just a few years back. Jesus showed to me wounds that I thought were healed and revealed himself to me more than I ever could have dreamed. My personal relationship with Christ has been strengthened so much and I have come to know him better than I ever have, and that...that is something that I can take with me not just to my campus next year but to the relationships that I continue to make and will continue to build throughout the rest of my life.
Missionary life is almost never easy. You get pulled in a million different directions everyday. You fundraise your own salary. The comforts of your past life get reduced to very minimum. You give up a lot. But you receive so much more. You gain brothers and sisters in Christ, the tools to have those tough conversations about the faith, and most importantly a renewed love for Christ and His Church. So my PSA to anyone in college that is looking for something after graduation or who wants to make an impact on the world, think about FOCUS. Discern it! Prayerfully consider applying for staff. And if you are fortunate enough to get the call like I did, don't turn it down. It will be the best decision you could ever make. It was for me.
THE MISSION
When I got to campus, I was scared to death. I am the ultimate introvert and now I was being asked to meet students that I did not know with the intention of building them up with Christ. OK take a deep breath Josh. It's going to be alright. You can do this. And lo and behold I did! I got the opportunity this year to work with many amazing men that, over the course of the school calendar, really started to understand and begin to form their own personal relationship with Christ and His Church. I watched boys become men right in front of my very eyes, and that has been a gift that I could not have received without taking this job. I still remember the first Bible study and after I asked a question, all I heard was the sound of crickets. But in our last book study of the year, I could ask a question and let the guys run with it. And even though, I will not be around in the coming years to watch the continued growth, I could not be more excited to see how those men set the campus on fire!
THE DATING FAST
For those of you that don't know, all first year missionaries are required to go on a dating fast for their first year on staff. Yeah, I was not cool with that. I remember praying about it and telling Jesus, "Lord please make this dating fast go away." But, it was never a prayer that I wanted to be answered immediately, because I knew that during this fast I was going to learn something that was worth knowing. I struggled at first. Oh boy did I struggle! I felt like I was falling for every girl I met on campus and emotional chastity was being tested extremely hard. But I got through it. I kept fighting the good fight and to be real honest, this fast has been the biggest blessing of my first year on staff. I have learned more about women than at any other time in my life. I used to look at all women as a potential soulmate instead of looking of them as first a sister in Christ. And as the dating fast comes to an end, I have learned invaluable lessons and gained the tools to make "the dating game" a lot less scary.
THE RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST
I thought I had a pretty good relationship with Christ when I got to campus. I went to mass multiple times a week (when I could). I prayed on a regular basis (when I could). Yeah, I would say that Jesus and I were pretty tight. I had no idea what I was in for this year. I had never prayed holy hours on a daily basis and never went mass every day until I got to training and then to campus. Jesus blew the doors wide open again. It was almost as if I was a 20 year old kid sitting in front of the Eucharist at conference just a few years back. Jesus showed to me wounds that I thought were healed and revealed himself to me more than I ever could have dreamed. My personal relationship with Christ has been strengthened so much and I have come to know him better than I ever have, and that...that is something that I can take with me not just to my campus next year but to the relationships that I continue to make and will continue to build throughout the rest of my life.
Missionary life is almost never easy. You get pulled in a million different directions everyday. You fundraise your own salary. The comforts of your past life get reduced to very minimum. You give up a lot. But you receive so much more. You gain brothers and sisters in Christ, the tools to have those tough conversations about the faith, and most importantly a renewed love for Christ and His Church. So my PSA to anyone in college that is looking for something after graduation or who wants to make an impact on the world, think about FOCUS. Discern it! Prayerfully consider applying for staff. And if you are fortunate enough to get the call like I did, don't turn it down. It will be the best decision you could ever make. It was for me.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Doubting Thomas
Thomas. A disciple. A follower of Jesus. A doubter. I always feel bad when people talk of Thomas as "The Doubting Thomas" because this was a man who in reality, gave his life to Christ, gave up everything he had at home to follow him and his teachings, and yet we almost always refer to him in this way. In John 20:24-29, we see the story behind the nickname and on the surface, and we can all think to ourselves, "Yeah, shame on you Thomas." However, when we really look into the passage and think our own lives, we all can put ourselves in his place.
What do I mean? Well, let's go back to the story. Thomas needed to see to believe. In verse 25, Thomas says to the other disciples that, "unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Jesus swings by the house. Thomas has the opportunity to do just that, and he comes to believe that Christ is risen. Jesus then tells them that blessed are those who have not yet seen and still believe. And even though that seems like a daunting task, it gives me hope knowing that even one of the greatest disciples doubted the risen Christ. So, I asked myself the question, where do I doubt?
This came up in my prayer the other day and it was a profound experience to say the least. As some of you may know, my job with FOCUS was not all that popular with my parents when I came on staff. I had heard stories of missionaries' parents that had radical conversions over their time with FOCUS, but in the back of my head I never thought that it could happen. At summer training, I vividly remember a conversation with Christ and him telling me not to worry about my family because he was taking care of it. And even then, I still could not fully trust in his healing power. Then things started to change.
Throughout the year, I have seen first hand how God has worked in my family. I have had multiple opportunities to talk about not just my job but about my faith with my immediate family, and lo and behold, they were interested! They truly cared about the work I was doing and are continually interested! But the biggest thing happened last week. I was on the phone with my dad and I was talking to him about possible placements for next year, and he was cool with all of them and supported any decision I, myself, or FOCUS made in that department. But here is the kicker. At the end of the conversation, my dad tells me that he was going to pray for whatever I needed. Wait...what?! My dad said he was going to PRAY for me. You're kidding right?! This drove me nearly to tears and I was so incredibly joyful to hear those words come from his mouth.
But to bring it full circle, as I was praying with this particular passage on Tuesday, I remembered that conversation with my dad and put it all in perspective. Jesus told me last summer that he was going to take care of my family. He told me that. How did I respond? I did not put all my trust in God at that time, and yet he came through. Now, I don't expect my dad to take my mom to mass every Sunday or start praying a daily rosary but God is working! He is converting the hearts of those closest to me even when I did not believe he could!
The point of the story is that yes, over time there will be instances where we doubt the power of God, where we do not put all of our trust in his saving and healing love. But do not get discouraged, because when you think something is impossible or too hard or not important enough for Christ, we must remember that all things are possible for Christ. And not only that all things are possible, but nothing is too small or unimportant for him. All we need to do is put our trust in him and let him do the heavy lifting. He will surprise you just as he continually surprises me.
What do I mean? Well, let's go back to the story. Thomas needed to see to believe. In verse 25, Thomas says to the other disciples that, "unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Jesus swings by the house. Thomas has the opportunity to do just that, and he comes to believe that Christ is risen. Jesus then tells them that blessed are those who have not yet seen and still believe. And even though that seems like a daunting task, it gives me hope knowing that even one of the greatest disciples doubted the risen Christ. So, I asked myself the question, where do I doubt?
This came up in my prayer the other day and it was a profound experience to say the least. As some of you may know, my job with FOCUS was not all that popular with my parents when I came on staff. I had heard stories of missionaries' parents that had radical conversions over their time with FOCUS, but in the back of my head I never thought that it could happen. At summer training, I vividly remember a conversation with Christ and him telling me not to worry about my family because he was taking care of it. And even then, I still could not fully trust in his healing power. Then things started to change.
Throughout the year, I have seen first hand how God has worked in my family. I have had multiple opportunities to talk about not just my job but about my faith with my immediate family, and lo and behold, they were interested! They truly cared about the work I was doing and are continually interested! But the biggest thing happened last week. I was on the phone with my dad and I was talking to him about possible placements for next year, and he was cool with all of them and supported any decision I, myself, or FOCUS made in that department. But here is the kicker. At the end of the conversation, my dad tells me that he was going to pray for whatever I needed. Wait...what?! My dad said he was going to PRAY for me. You're kidding right?! This drove me nearly to tears and I was so incredibly joyful to hear those words come from his mouth.
But to bring it full circle, as I was praying with this particular passage on Tuesday, I remembered that conversation with my dad and put it all in perspective. Jesus told me last summer that he was going to take care of my family. He told me that. How did I respond? I did not put all my trust in God at that time, and yet he came through. Now, I don't expect my dad to take my mom to mass every Sunday or start praying a daily rosary but God is working! He is converting the hearts of those closest to me even when I did not believe he could!
The point of the story is that yes, over time there will be instances where we doubt the power of God, where we do not put all of our trust in his saving and healing love. But do not get discouraged, because when you think something is impossible or too hard or not important enough for Christ, we must remember that all things are possible for Christ. And not only that all things are possible, but nothing is too small or unimportant for him. All we need to do is put our trust in him and let him do the heavy lifting. He will surprise you just as he continually surprises me.
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